Would You Change Your Name? by Rich Paschall
When I finally come around to writing a short story for SERENDIPITY, I usually get stalled at the beginning when I need to decide on character names. It seems to me that the name is important and certain names will convey certain feelings to the reader. So, I try to choose carefully.
I liked Harold for an older character because I don’t know any younger people named Harold. Although the most famous literary character of this century so far is named Harry, I never thought of Harry Potter as a “Harold.” But he probably is.
I inadvertently used Harold twice. I wrote a story titled Alone and actually filmed it a year later, calling the only character Harold. This did not stop me from forgetting about it and naming another older character Harold in a series of stories that started with Soup and Sandwich. Some names just seem to lend themselves to young and old, rich or poor. A lot of that is purely based on personal experience and naming trends over the years. Names go in and out of favor for newborns.
The characters of the stories are newborns to me. Most of my characters arrive full-grown, I look for age-appropriate names. For example, Richie might be alright for a boy, but a grownup would probably prefer Rich or Richard. A few folks who know me from childhood still call me Richie. I get all three versions of my name these days. I can’t escape the variations.
If a story has a local flavor, I try to use names that could not be mistaken for anyone I know. Trying to think of names that don’t belong to friends or relatives can be challenging … and leave me looking up names on the Internet.
If you named a child, did you use a book of baby names? Did you look up names on the Internet? Did you make lists of names, then negotiate the final choice with others? Fortunately, I only have to debate with myself about my characters’ names. Right or wrong, I’ve no one to blame or congratulate but myself.
Aside from Harold, I don’t think I’ve duplicated a name, but I’ve got so many stories out there, I can’t say for sure. I know I’ll always have favorites tucked in the back of my mind.
In my neighborhood, there’s a family in which the father is Edgar. His son is also Edgar. Another son is Eduardo.
In this household, no one is called Ed. The younger Edgar is Eddy. The others are called by their full names. Parents get to set rules on that — at least in the home — but there’s no telling how kids will change your name once you start school. You could get a nickname that sticks. That might be good. Or not.
If there are several kids named John in your class, classmates — even a teacher — may decide you’re Jack, Johnnie, Jay … or something else. A room with multiple Johns, Michaels, or Susans will likely trigger a round of renaming.
Did you get stuck with a nickname? Do you like it? Hate it? Don’t much care either way?
I had a cousin named George whose father was also George, so they called him Ricky. For years, I thought that was his name. No idea how they chose this name, but it stuck with him his entire life. When relatives on that side of the family called me Ricky, it drove my mother crazy. She’d point out Ricky is not my name.
Aunt Mary is called Joan. It’s her middle name. Some said they did not want to call her by her mother’s name, but no one I know called my grandmother Mary. Her sister called her Mae. There are Roberts who became Bob or Bobby, including my father.
I know a few people who hate their names. Some are downright upset at their parents about it. If you were named Moon Unit or Dweezil, disliking your name might not seem unreasonable. Yet, Frank Zappa’s kids stuck with those names.
The Zappa family got away with giving their kids what could optimistically be considered “unique” names. Celebrities get a pass on lots of stuff. I doubt an ordinary kid would survive such names. Most parents want to make their children feel their names are special, but sensible parents don’t want their kids’ names to make them a target.
Destiny Hope Cyrus decided she liked Miley better. She changed her name — which was already her nickname.
As for my own, I’m neutral about it. I neither love nor hate my name. It’s okay. All of its variations are fine with me, including Rick or Ricky, despite my mother’s objections. I am also okay with RJ (Richard John).
But I hated Dick. Few dare call me that, but one friend does. He’s the only one who gets away with it. I remember all too well the years of President “Tricky Dick” Nixon. I wanted no association with that name.
Do you like your name? Would you prefer a nickname? Did you always like your name or did you accept it over time?
If you could change your name now, to what would you change it? Feel free to share your new name in the comments? I might choose Ming the Merciless, Emperor of the Universe. That had a certain ring to it when I was small, though it would be hard to fit on a business card.
Categories: Anecdote, Family, Life, Rich Paschall
I really like Rich! I also quite like RJ. And I love Richie! I have absolutely no preference and I think the ‘not having a problem’ with a name is often traced back to a person you liked or disliked. I loved the name Angela until we had a Angela Testa (a black locked whirlwind girl of an Italian family having come to Switzerland for work) and she was a she-devil!!!! So the name really didn’t do anything to her and ever since I can’t stand any Angela because of that little girl. We had other fancy-name kids as it was a time when the first immigrant families settled down in my country. We had an Aurelio who was far too tall for his age, a Germaine whom we called ‘Chairman’ with a strong T at the begin, and I shared my later school years with a Diana who also had (and still has!) a hunter/warrior attitude. She still bosses everybody around now and you have to admire her fierce spirit. (and fear it at the same time….).
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I had a teacher in school who was Sister Angela something that I forgot. I did not forget she was to be feared.
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Reblogged this on Serendipity Seeking Intelligent Life on Earth and commented:
What IS in a name? Good question, isn’t it?
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Yes. I am better now with the names of some of the athletes and celebrities that seem made up or a mash up of two names, except maybe for Dwezil or Moon Unit. I would definitely chane one of those.
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The year before Owen was conceived, I was the subscription editor for an architectural magazine. I just wrote out any name that I liked and saved them. When Owen got his name, no one was named Owen. Now it is one of the top two most popular names for boys. Funny about that. I was so careful to try to be original 🙂 The only thing wrong with Owen is that his nickname is O.
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I was named RIchard because my mother could not think of any family member with the name. The middle name is John after an uncle I never met.
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Made me grin. When I had my boy we chose Daniel because we said: Nobody is going to choose a biblical name nowadays. It was only the most popular boys’ name that year….. what do we know?
My Christian name is so old-fashioned that, apart from my mum and some aunts, nobody even knows it – Kiki dates back to when I was a teenager and it never went away. It’s fine by me, as long as nobody thinks of using my ‘real’ name (I was then baptised after a favourite family member of my dad and my middle name was his (long dead) mother’s name – so use your worst imagination!
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Reblogged this on rjptalk and commented:
Some people love their names, others might hate theirs. It might make you wonder, what’s in a name? Be sure to click on “view original post” at the bottom to head over to SERENDIPITY for more important thoughts on the topic.
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I enjoyed this. I get it completely. I have a rare name, I’ve only ever actually met 2 Phyllis’s in my life and chatted with 4 online. It’s not a common name and to me doesn’t engender positivity or negativity, it’s not an exciting name like Philomena or (I could name a dozen here) and doesn’t denote any connections to humour, romance, excitement or boredom or any other emotion. It’s ok, but on the whole I’d rather have had a different name. But that’s just me.
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I have a friend’s whose mother’s name is Phyllis. It is the only one I can recall ever meeting.
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I met another Phyllis in the supermarket last week, one of the only others, one a teacher of my grandchild. Rich is a good name!
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Thanks. I am going to keep it, but you can call me RJ if you like.
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RJ is cool too and lmao @ keep it.
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“RJ” — like Wagner?
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No, because that is Robert John. Did you know he is 89?
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Yes, actually. I wuz doing some celeb age factoring after”Kookie” Byrnes passed away recently at age 89.
Lend me your comb, Rich.
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I can give you my comb, I have little use for it.
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No, because he was a Robert.
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The mother of a friend of mine was discussing how she named her kids–her name, she said, was one of those you couldn’t do much with, nickname wise (Anna) and she always wanted a ‘fancier’ name. So she named her oldest girl Margaret (the list for that name goes on forever) and her youngest Elizabeth. She said she could hardly wait until her youngest was old enough to pick her ‘forever’ nickname. lol. By the time she was three, this determined little girl was calling herself E-lizabeth and no one argued. Her poor mother was heartbroken. Fifty years later she still is Elizabeth.
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I never liked my name — until I met the other Marilyn. Suddenly, it was a much better name.
My mother had wanted to name me Mara, but the family objected. Mara in Hebrew and Yiddish means bitter. They didn’t like that as a girl’s name.
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THE “MM” a factor?
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I really should have been called Caramel, but got stuck with Leslie. Not particularly fond of it but I found there were certain advantages if people thought I was a man. You know that old bug-a-boo it’s a man’s world? Well it really is, in a lot of cases.
We had four children so I had the opportunity to name four people. Our daughters have bi-sexual names (like me) Simone and Renee. Renee (an electrician) actually got hired at the Toronto Transit Commission because they thought she was a man. She had to write tests and she aced them. When they brought her in for the interview they were going to turn her down when they realized she was a woman. She told them they had better hire her because she wasn’t going away until they did. So they did. We’re a bunch of feisty women and perhaps the names helped us in that regards.
Leslie
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Well, no one ever mistook Marilyn for a man’s name! I favored (when I was very little) Linda because someone explained that in Spanish, it meant pretty. When I was a little older, I wanted Delores because it sounded so romantic. Eventually, I wanted Chuck, because I yearned for a neuter-gender name which sounded tougher than I will ever be.
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I’m really a Caramel, but Leslie will do in a pinch…. 😉
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I love caramel 🙂
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I do too ….chuckle…. 😉
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Me too.
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Leslie is good and we would never mistake you for Leslie Nielsen either! 😉
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I’m the Rag-a- Muffin…. 😉
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Surely, you know that mistake would never occur.
What’s your vector, Victor?
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Thanks, and don’t call me Shirley.
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Leslie, that’s a good one – one of my siblings has two children and both used to get mixed up constantly. Sasha (from Alessandra) passed often as a boy and Dominique is well and truly a man’s/woman’s name so they tended to exchange certain letters amongst them at a younger age. Funnily Dominique whom I always called Nicki (there’s another trap to fall into) calls himself Dom and Alessandra has forever been and will be Sasha.
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Marilyn Manson?
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If I had a chance to name people I would be stuck. It is a lot easier with story characters!
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Family often has a lot of input. My brother never had children and asked me to name one of our sons after him and we did. They are very close today.
Leslie
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I guess family had a negative influence. My mother did not want anyone to think I was named after them. There are no other Richards in the family.
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We were thinking of naming one or our children Richard….
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But…?
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The first two boys had their names chosen before hand, our last child turned out to be a girl – Renee. If she would have been a boy she would have been Richard.
Leslie 🙂
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Leslie, you ever have a hankering to play Ashley Wilkes?
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Never thought of that Garry, but I’d give my left hand for the humour of Leslie Neilson.
Leslie 😉
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Leslie Howard was pretty good too!
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Yes there are some remarkable Leslies….
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Okay. Hold the ham and give me mayo on one.
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chuckle…. 😉
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You mayo not want to do that.
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Oy! Hey, you like gladiator movies, kid?
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Rich, one of my very early –young purple prose, cliche ridden literary efforts had the sensitive young hero — Timmy Luke Sullivan — in love with Tammy Jean O’Rourke. Too many soapy movies and pulpy novels for such a young puppy wannabee novelist.
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I rarely give last names to my characters. It’s not usually needed in a very short story. I wonder what Harold’s last name is?
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Rich, you gotta remember I was an aging pubey when I wrote this stuff — long hand — on those scribner notebooks we used in grade school comp classes. I wuz so full of angst and unrequited love as the yootful reader of pulp fiction.
HOW is Harold these days?
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Harold has recovered nicely, I hear.
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I think Leslie is a lovely name. And, it’s really the person who makes the name. You’ll do, Leslie!
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That is so nice of you Garry, thank you.
Leslie/Caramel…. 🙂
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I’m always stumbling over new and intriguing names. Among my top choices (if I’d ever had a daughter…my own name is familiar and comfortable like an old shoe, so I probably wouldn’t change it given the chance) were: Noelle, Polly, Cheyenne… yeah my taste is all over the map..
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Some names are popular for both boys and girls. Cheyenne is one of those.
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Cheyenne B. Cee? It has a ring to it?
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Cheyenne Brodie Cee? Now THAT has a ring to it.
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Rich, absolutely.
Altogether now, let’s sing it “..Cheyenne, Cheyenne…lonely man…Cheyenne..”
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He’s on MeTV every morning, one of the “good Guys at Sunrise.”
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I have an unusual name, at least it is unusual in these parts, but I like it and wouldn’t want to change. My middle name is Eileen and kids at school sometimes asked me if they could call me Eileen instead of Vanda. I said no. I like Eileen but it’s not who I am. Mum chose it because she wanted something different and something that could not be shortened. She reckoned without Aussie kids who will try to shorten any name unless it already is short: then they want to make it longer. Nevertheless, no nickname has ever stuck.
Mum had a younger sister called Audrey but her nickname was Bill. I think it was an inside joke.
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Sometimes we never learn those inside family jokes. No one ever told me why George was RIcky and I guess I will never learn now.
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Just don’t take your guns to town, fella.
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All the ones holding the secrets have been shot.
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Rich, The NRA says you’re just an effete eastern liberal Pilgrim.
I’ll take them on with my sawed off peace-maker, if you want. Just say the word, Pilgrim.
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Spiro says we are an effete corps of impudent snobs. You can get him too.
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When particularly exasperated with my brother, my mother would say he would have turned out better if she had allowed him to be called Richard! Because our surname began with D Dad said they couldn’t call him Richard as he would become Dicky D…
I accidentally ended up with Anna being a main character in two of my novels.
There were always three Janets in my class, I would have liked something more exotic – now women of my generation all have names beginning with J . Or so it seems.
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I don’t know anyone called Dicky. No one called me that and I am not sure if I had a surname with D that would happen. I guess it depends on your friends, perhaps the era too. There were a lot of Johns and Michaels in my class and the one behind us too.
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Dicky Jones, young side kick to Jock Mahoney’s “The Range Rider”.
Dickie Cheyney – old, arrogant sidekick to corrupt pols.
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Dickie the hunter I have heard about come to think of it.
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Tidal, veering off course here: When my Mom got mad at me (oldest of three boys) she would lose her cool and scream — “Billy!! Anton!! Garrrry! whatever your name! Get over here, RIGHT now and don’t give me that look, young man!”
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Garry; she must have been REALLY mad!!! 🙂 When I’m dispairing at HH, I call him (for instance in the street when everybody turns their head except him, HH!) by his German full name – interestingly, he THEN turns and realises that I meant him. His name is normally a short French version of the longer German one. And I only ever call him that name when I’m really p…d off!
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Once, during a very superficial stage, when asked this question, I settled on Hillary Tyne-Benson. Since then I have come to a clearer understanding of who I am and that no name change is going to change that. I like my last names. The “Brown” tames down the Dykstra and the Dykstra gives individuality to the name Brown. Judy does nothing much for either but I’ve never found a first name that feels like me any more than Judy does. Not that I’have ever felt like a Judy. Maybe my second name, Kay? But it doesn’t go with the other two. Forgottenman calls me Remi and I love that name. Remi Dykstra-Brown? Doesn’t sound right . Guess I’ll stick with the Judy. one advantage is that if there is another person with that name in the world, Google doesn’t know about it!! Enjoyed your essay, Rich. And I love your name!! It sounds like on someone would choose. Did you?
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I would not have chosen Rich, but I am OK with it.
I like Judy. I always think of Judy Garland. She was so talented. You should like that name.
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I just saw the film Judy last night. OMG. What a stellar performance. What a sad sad story. R.I.P. Judy.
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I have not seen the film yet. I heard good things about it.
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I really didn’t want to see it but I’m very glad I did.
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Must see that one, Rich. Didn’t realize it was about Garland till the Globes show. Whenever I watch a Garland film, especially one like “Meet Me In St. Louis”, I feel a tad guilty — deriving so much joy while realizing what her private life was like – the face and body behind the makeup and the music. Especially poignant when she sings, “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas”.
I was working at ABC News the day Judy Garland died. Working in their “ops room” where we received audio clips over the phone and then typed verbatims of the clips for newscasters. One of the clips was from Mickey Rooney who said something like — “I’m so sad, heart-broken…I hope that somewhere, someplace..Judy has found the end of her rainbow”. Sitting in that ops room, 3 thousand miles away from Mickey Rooney, you could sense and share the sorrow and heartbreak.
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I loved the old Judy Garland TV show. I believe it only lasted one season. The network did not know what a gem it had.
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That’s my name and I never liked it. It was so 40’s, like being called Edna or Edith, it dates you immediately. On top of that there were four of us with the same name in a highschool class of 28, and when the teacher called “Judy” he either pointed or used our full name.
Tbat’s funny, my mother’s name was Kathleen, she was Kitti to the family but to the world outside she was Kay.
I always wanted to be Jenny, or Jessie. I loved the sounds of them.
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The popularity of names goes in cycles. Michael, John, James and Robert were popular when I was born. My father had one and my brother another. There was an Uncle John. I guess I would have been OK with Mike.
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Uncle Mike?
Rich, remember the infamous radio personality, “Uncle Don”? The guy who–thinking his mic was ‘dead — uttered the immortal line to his kiddie audience — “There, that should hold all the little bast__ds”.
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I remember hearing about it. Myth busting sites say that was just an urban legen, however. Would have been funnier if true.
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“Uncle Don”, an urban legend? Not sure. Think I heard the audio clip. But that was 60 plus years ago and I can no longer speak with certainty. Still, he was a cautionary tale for newbies in college radio.
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There is a “recreation” floating around, but a recreation of what?
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Rich, you got me on that one.
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Dykstra was originally Dutch, yes? I only know this because I went to Hofstra and it turns out that almost all names that end with “STRA” were at some point, Dutch … or someone had a long since Dutch ancestor.
I’ve had four last names: Friedman, Kraus, Tripp, and Armstrong. I didn’t like Friedman, not because it was so Jewish, but because it was not musical. Kraus was only nominally better and I’m pretty sure I was the only woman to move to Israel and marry a guy named Tripp. What kind of middle-Eastern name is THAT? But it was a fun name to have and NO ONE could spell it right because the “P” sound in Hebrew automatically changes to an “F” sound when it is a finial. it confused people. I liked that.
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Yes. My grandfather and my gradmother’s parents emigrated from Holland. Her name was Boersma. i’ve been told that stra means place near the.. plus, place near the dyke. I always thought it was like strassa–German for street–and perhaps it is. I guess place and street are close in meaning. Nord Stra–Sudstra–north and south streets or places to the north or south. Westra..all Dutch names.
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You see? I DID learn something in college!
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I never doubted it, dear.
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Rich, hope I don’t sound like a self-centered doofus but I really like my name. Garry (yes, with TWO r’s). It’s always looked good in the chyrons when they didn’t misspell it. Hey, I would love to be 6 or 7 inches taller. But that’s another story.
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I really like the name Rich Paschall. It sounds like a mystery writer.
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And sometimes the writing is a mystery!
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Always, for me. I just wait to see what is going to show up in the next line.
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Life, Rich is a mystery. You like mysteries, don’t you?
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Some mysteries are fine. The mystery of why 45 is still in the WH is not so fine.
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As long as our names are spelled right in the credits, that’s all that matters!
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Rich, you got that right. Billing is another matter until it’s obit time. Then, it doesn’t matter. Mebbe only to your agent if you have one.
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Any billing is fine with me, except that obit one.
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Death be not proud….
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Death be not proud..
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I did! I thought I just had four fun years and learned a lot of existential stuff that hasn’t done squat for anyone I’ve ever known.
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What was you major?
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Marilyn says Owen’s Dad wanted to name him Llewellyn. I think Marilyn put her foot down — on Hubby’s head.
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Llewellyn is nice name…for a British spy.
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Rich, would you name your lively little boy, “Liberty”?
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What would the nickname be? Lib? Bert? Tea?
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I bet Owen has thanked her every day since.
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We could have called him Lew…just saying.
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Rich, I told Marilyn the same thing. She gave me that “look”.
Owen’s Dad offered a Leslie Howard public persona, complete with pipe. I was impressed and started smoking a pipe. No, I didn’t look like Leslie Howard or Llewellyn Armstrong.
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Does Lew smoke a pipe?
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Owen, the “Lew” in question, never really gave pipes a go. He’s gone cold turkey but used to be a ciggie man. I wuz never a ciggie guy. Tried lucky strikes while in the Marines and it was a brief affair. The pipe stayed with me for many decades, often a crutch when I wuz racing against a deadline. Gave it up maybe 10 years ago. You?
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Never smoked. My parents smoked too much and it was bad for their health.
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‘Ciggie Breath” — ah, yes. Still bothers me along with the smoke which bothers me even more.
The TV newsroom — in its heyday, was a cloud of tobacco smoke — ciggies, cigars and pipes …here and there, a secretive joint. Sometimes the place looked like London after dark.
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