It’s Provocative Question time here on Serendipity.
He wants to know if we live up to our own standards. Do we?
I have thought about this often in the course of my life. I tend to excuse most people at least once or twice before I even get angry. But I do get angry, especially when someone has already apparently judged me. When this happens, the relationship usually ends and rarely gets put back together. I’m patient and patient and patient, but when the patience breaks, I don’t seem able to go back.
Is that a judgement? Yes, I suppose it is. It is certainly a judgement on the relationship, an admission that it is no longer viable for me. But over all? I think I’m harder on me than on anyone else. I’m a lot stricter with myself than I ever was with my son or with any other relationship. I tend to be both efficient and a bit rigid about obligations and frequently surprised when others are not. I try not hold others to my standards, but I admit to being disappointed when they don’t. I try to hide the disappointment.
I’m not sure what that means, but it has made me believe that life isn’t fair and expecting fairness is delusional. Life is what it is. It’s bumpy and twisty and unexpected. Whatever happens, you deal with it. Judge yourself, but try to not level it at others.