Question Time Over Coffee

Rory put up a lot of question this week — more than I feel ready to address, so forgive me, but this is an abridged version.

What actions do you take if you can’t sleep naturally?

What is “naturally”? I take the medication prescribed by my doctor. One night I couldn’t sleep and couldn’t figure out why. It turned out I’d forgotten to take the medicine. I’d thought about it which apparently substituted for DOING it.

I haven’t been able to sleep without medication in years. I think I stopped sleeping when my son, now 53, was born. Newborns don’t make a lot of noise when they cry. I was afraid to fall deeply asleep lest I miss hearing him. I never really slept deeply again, even though his daughter, my granddaughter is now 26 and the “newborn” days are many decades past.

It turns out training yourself to not sleep can have long-term repercussions! The deepest I’ve ever slept was when I was very sick and probably in the hospital and very drugged.

Can you easily recognise if you are suffering from stress, and if so, what do you do to reduce it? Are you able to see signs of stress in your friends or your family more than you?

I suffer much less from stress as I’ve gotten older because I forget to worry. One of the sidebars of aging is that I’m easily distracted. I worry for a few minutes, notice something else and promptly forget to worry. If ONLY I’d had that ability when I was younger.

What a waste all the worry was. It turns out no matter what you are worried about, something else will happen that you weren’t worrying about. Some people think it’s the worry that keeps the thing from happening. I think it’s just a painful and ridiculous waste of time and mental resources.

The West holds firm concerning the war in Ukraine. However, how do you feel about it all now? Do you believe we are providing too much or too little support?

I wish we would just go and protect the Ukraine. Having said that, I know why we are not doing it.

Every time we get “feet on the ground” involved in a war not our own, it works out badly — or worse. We seem to have a knack for creating the exact thing we are trying to prevent. No matter what we think we know, if it isn’t our fight, there’s probably a lot more we don’t know. We can be outraged, offer support — but troop involvement? That’s a whole other level. I suppose there will come a time when we have no choice — assuming we survive that long — but that time isn’t now.

How much black-and-white honesty from your best friends do you believe your friendship with them warrants? Should friends be brutally honest with you or provide support without question?

Brutal honesty is inevitably more brutal than honest. I do not believe in brutal honesty between friends or colleagues or even people we dislike.

You can’t take words back. Once you’ve said them, your words are forever “out there.” Just as as nothing disappears from the “virtual” universe, people don’t forget the ugly things you said. Whether or not you supposedly said them in the name of friendship, there’s no excuse for brutality. Brutal honesty has no place in a friendship and frankly, I think it has no place in any relationship.

Do you think you have an addictive personality?

No. Except for cigarettes. They were a bitch to give up.

What five vegetables do you use the most each week or month?

Do potatoes and rice count as vegetables? Because we eat one or the other with most dinners. Otherwise, peas go well with mashed potatoes. I use onions as part of many dishes. Scallions, celery, and sweet peppers are also parts of many meals.

Buying locally

In the summer, fresh tomatoes, lettuce mixes of various kinds are everyday food. We do eat a lot of in-season vegetables. Summer squash from June through October can be friend, baked, or steamed. Fresh local tomatoes become available too. Local farm stands sell cucumbers, corn, zucchini and more. I guess you can say that we eat vegetable — other than rice and potatoes — seasonally and it depends on what’s available on the farm stands.

Have your blog reading habits changed since you first started to blog? Are you ever frustrated from reading blog posts because they are not piquing your interest? What have you done to prevent boredom from biting deep if this is the case?

I’m not sure if my blog reading habits have changed so much as my willingness to read things in which I’m uninterested. My patience level has dropped precipitously. I don’t feel I have time to waste. Time is moving too fast to waste any of it.

The Red Queen's Theory!

I already feel like I’m running at top speed just to stay in the same place. What time I’ve got needs to be divvied up between books, life, the people I love, and things I find enlightening, useful or at least interesting. Preferably all three.

Do you find it easy to make difficult decisions, and do you have a process of elimination for making those tough decisions?

I don’t know if I have any “formal” process of elimination. I try to look at the options and pick the one that does the job and fits our budget. I think if difficult decisions threw me, I’d have collapsed in a useless heap years ago.

What’s the longest you have gone without a shower?

When I wasn’t recovering from surgery and was at home? A week.

In the hospital? Until they let me take one which was sometimes a few days, once, four months. But they do give you sponge baths and I had my hair washed. This involved a fair amount of begging and pleading.

How would your family and friends react if you started to talk to another person one day that no one else could see but you? Do you speak to yourself regularly?

They’d think I’m getting ready to write something so I’m telling the story to myself. I talk to myself. You mean, you don’t?

Categories: Anecdote, Q & A, questions, Quotation

Tags: , , , ,

8 replies

  1. Lol. Yes. I talk to myself too! Anyone who says they don’s is lying! 😀


  2. Hey Marilyn, some great answers here.

    Suze has sleep problems because of exactly the same reasons as yours – that when she was a young mother she trained herself to listen out for a gnat farting in the next house! This had the repercussion chain reaction of making her sleep pattern exceedingly poor for the rest of her time.

    If l am caught talking to myself which l seem to do a lot, l usually answer with – l am thinking of x, y or z or l am mapping out the next blog post.

    Yes l struggled with smoking as a habit and the need to give up. Five years next March is how long l have been ‘clean or clear’, but l was advised to stop smoking to ensure l lived in 2015 and it took me almost five years to achieve that acceptance alone.

    My thanks for the good read and wishing you a relaxing Sunday afternoon 🙂



  1. Question Time Over Coffee – Earthly Comforts

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