And Other Important Items, by Rich Paschall 

You may be asking your AI-infused search engine, “What is the meaning of life?”  It will probably tell you that the answer is too profound to be known and understood.

Ha! We here at the Serendipity’s Think Tank and Boulangerie have been contemplating this and other critical universal questions. There is nothing artificial about our intelligence. We offer you honest answers to the meaning of life as well as, “What are black holes?” “Why does WordPress keep tweaking its editors?” “What is the purpose of deep dish pizza?” and “Why does the rain in Spain stay mainly on the plain?” There are no Eastern philosophers here — or Western ones for that matter — only the sharpest minds in this dull world.

While Bing or Nat or Burl or any of your other friends are Searching For You, we will provide you with the wisdom of the ages. There are a lot of ages around here so you definitely can not go wrong. Let us first consider other popular theories.

“Only an artist can divine the meaning of life.” 

— Friederich Schlegel

Shortly after offering this opinion, we fired Friederich. We found his material to be neither rational nor scientific. We considered burning it with the Torch of Science but we needed the light in case of a power outage. By the way, he was a lousy artist anyway.

“Cognizance of order, coherence and purpose in one’s existence, the pursuit and attainment of worthwhile goals, and an accompanying sense of fulfillment”

— Gary Reker and Paul Wong

Clearly, there was too much thinking in their tanks. Half of our team did not understand what they were saying and the other half went to refill their tankards. They were not even adequate in the Boulangerie. We fired them too.

A good crew of lads came to us and joined the Think Tank immediately.  We found them to be of superior intellect and put them to work on the all-important question right away. They went straight to work and while they were not as fast as any of your Christmas friends with the strange names, they were nevertheless efficient and trustworthy. Here is their answer:

“Well, it’s nothing very special. Uh, try to be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try to live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations.”

— Monty Python

Of course, this was not specific enough for the scientists in the room. They found that the parameters were too vague and they could not adequately measure peace, good and brotherhood. So we tried a little Crystal Blue Persuasion. Jeremy Bentham chimed in with the “happiness principle.” We thought “being” was being forgotten and in favor of measuring external value.

“So don’t you give up now, ooh-ooh, It’s so easy to find, Just look to your soul (look to your soul), And open your mind.” 

— Tommy James

In the corner, Immanuel was mumbling something about moral worth but I Kant understand him so we will pass on that theory. Adam Smith found value in labor and property so the conservative thinkers loved him. Zeno (obviously a nickname) was trying to teach harmony with the universe. It is hard to teach harmony when you don’t even know the melody, so let’s move on, shall we?

“Everyone dies alone. But if you mean something to someone, if you help someone, or love someone. If even a single person remembers you then maybe you never really die at all.”

— The Machine

People of a certain age and hitchhikers across the galaxy know the meaning of life so there is no need to Google it or search any longer. We will give it to you. We have given it deep thought. If you had a supercomputer you might get it, but Douglas has rushed over from the Think Tank with it and here it is.

42

In Chicago, however, the meaning is 23. Ponder that for a while.

See Also: “Searching For You,” A New Search Engine
SERENDIPITY, February 19, 2023.
“The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,” by Douglas Adams
Harmony House, October 1980.

Categories: Computers, intelligence, Rich Paschall, Science

Tags: 42, AI, artificial intelligence, Meaning of life, Search, Search Engines, Think Tank