JUST SHOW UP IN A TUX

We just celebrated our 24th  wedding anniversary. As I ponder the upcoming 25th, I hear distant bells. I remember the wedding. The thrill of ultimate victory, the agony of getting there. How, by the time I got to the altar, I was a nervous wreck, but Garry was cool as the proverbial cucumber and looked dashing in his tuxedo.

72-Bette'sPix_05

Photo by Bette Stevens

After it was clearly established that we were definitely, unquestionably, without any doubt, getting married, it came down to details. Dates. Rings. Caterers. Bakers. Flowers. Music. Photography. Videography. And (trumpets) a ceremony.

I had been married twice before — okay, three times, because I’d been married in a registry office in London, then the whole Jewish medieval ceremony in Jerusalem. Having been there and done that. I wanted to elope or maximum, go to city hall, have the mayor marry us. He would have. We knew the guy. We could have been married at City Hall, I’d toss a bouquet, someone would throw some confetti, and voilà. Married. After that, us and our actual friends could all go out for Chinese.

Garry wanted a Real Wedding.

He was 48 years old. Never married. This would be his one and only wedding and by golly, he was going to Do It Right.

“I want a real wedding. In the church in which I grew up. In New York,” says Garry. “And I want my old pastor to officiate.”

“Pastor G. is retired … like fifteen years ago.”

“I’m sure we can work it out.” When he said we, I thought he meant he and I would do this thing together. Because where I come from, that’s what we means. I was deluded.

“Why can’t we just have something here in Boston? New York is 250 miles away. You haven’t lived there in nearly 30 years. Everyone you know except your parents are up here or in another part of the country entirely.”

Garry’s face is set. Stony. He wants a hometown wedding in the church he attended as a child. With the minister he had when he was a kid. Did I mention my husband is stubborn? He is very stubborn.

“This is going to be a lot of work. It’s hard to plan a wedding long distance,” I point out. “And I have a job too, in case you’ve forgotten.” Garry is unfazed.

“We can,” he repeats, “Work it out.” There was that we again.

“Fine,” I eventually agree. “We’ll have a wedding. In New York. At your church.”

There were caterers to hire. Music to be arranged. A bagpiper (don’t ask). Battles over the guest list. A cake to be designed. The cake was my favorite part. It went like this. Having settled on a vanilla cake with lemon filling, we needed to decide on decorations.

“Do you want the bride and groom in white or black?”

“Can we have one of each?” No, we could not. In 1990, they do not have a mixed couple cake topper. I offer to take a marker and paint the groom black, but inexplicably, Garry finds this objectionable. I suggest they take two sets and cut them in half, but it is deemed too complicated. In the end, I opt for wedding bells, the DMZ of wedding cake toppers.

So, Garry got his wedding. It was (for him) as simple as simple could be. Marilyn arranged the wedding. Garry showed up in a tux.

You see? We worked it out.



Categories: Anecdote, Humor, Marriage, Relationships

Tags: , , , , , ,

27 replies

  1. Happy Anniversary! I too wanted to forgo the wedding as I was 33 and my husband was married before. He insisted we have a “real” wedding- as it was my first and he felt I would later regret not having had one. He was probably correct. 🙂 Where’s your wedding photo in this post? I want to see that tux 🙂

    Like

    • I have tons of them, but they aren’t digital and I was too lazy to start scanning them. I should scan at least a few of them, but I have been so tired lately, I’m surprised I’m still on my feet. Garry of course, owned a couple of tuxedos. Rent? Garry? The clothes horse does not “rent” clothing!!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I meant to mention that, not only do I love this story (would love to hear more about the bagpiper, btw) but I also love the matching sweatshirts! I think the word ‘Serendipitarian’ might look nice on a sweatshirt, too….with the dictionary definition ‘one who follows Serendipity’… :o)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for liking my sweatshirts. I’ve saved the design in case I get rich and can give them out to people (yeah, right!) or want matching tees when summer comes. I wonder how well Serendipitarian would fit on a shirt 🙂 ? I had a lot of fun designing them. I just with they weren’t so expensive to produce.

      Like

  3. Congratulations, to you and Garry. Your marriage sounds like a sweet story and may you have many more happy memories added to the already existing ones.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Congratulations! Your wedding memories are delightful. Thank you for sharing.

    Like

  5. Congratulations! A very sweet photo of you two. ❤

    Like

  6. Congratulations on your anniversary. I find wedding days to be highly entertaining; there’s always something memorable in addition to the actual ceremony.

    Love the matching sweatshirts and cameras. Marilyn, I’ve really enjoyed your autumn photos; keep ’em coming, please!

    Like

  7. First of all congratulations on the anniversary. What a wedding, and what memories. compared to my 10 minutes in a registry office it was really something. May there be many more anniversaries to celebrate.

    Like

  8. It sounds like Garry did everything perfectly.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. all the best for you next 24 years and naturally for today…

    Like

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