Whose bucket? Not my bucket. Because I don’t have a bucket. I also don’t have a “never” list because most of my life seems to have been made up of things I was never going to do, buying things I never thought I’d need. Going places I would never go. Working at jobs I never knew existed. Learning things I though too unimportant to bother with.
Most of my “Nevers” turned out to be edible words which aren’t tasty. As I have aged and a modicum of commonsense has taken charge of my mouth, I’ve learned to never say “never.” If you say “I will never do (fill in the blank),” you are guaranteeing you will do it. Those luscious words ere spoke are noticeably less yummy when you have to choke them back down.
We are going to a party today. Before exiting the bedroom, I made a rare side trip and took a look at the “good clothes” part of my closet. I discovered all of my dress clothing is black. Not most of it. ALL of it. No matter how I configure it. The dresses are black, the pants are black. The sweaters, tunics and jackets are black.
Finally, after all these years, I know why everything is black. Yes, world, there are actual reasons and here are mine:
- Black makes you look thinner, usually.
- Black doesn’t show where you dribbled pasta sauce down your front.
- Jewelry looks great against black.
I am also set for any funeral I might have to attend on the fly.
Fashion issues don’t arise until I get all the way down to my feet. High (or even medium to low) heels and I parted ways years ago. I am too wobbly nowadays and I won’t risk my ankles. Also, the air gets thin when I have to walk around on my toes. Not to mention the pain.
None of my dressy clothing looks good with clogs. It looks even dopier with Uggs.
When (if) we talk about fashion, I am not even a tangential part of the conversation. Do we talk about fashion? Other than to make snarky comments about how hideous some celebrity looks? Do I even know “what’s in” for the adult set? I can tell you what teenagers are wearing. I have a granddaughter and she’s quite the little fashion plate … but grownups?
What are the over-40 set wearing? Just wondering. Because today, I have to go to a party and have no idea what to wear.
Oh, I just got a flash! New black yoga pants. Black sweater. Lots of silver and turquoise jewelry. Something on my feet. Everyone will notice the jewelry; no one will notice my clothing.
It’s a plan!