IT’S THE PHONE …

There’s a myth circulating that senior citizens are up with the birds and asleep before sunset. An entire culture has been built on “Early Bird Specials,” because old people supposedly eat dinner by 4 pm. I eat around four, but I call it lunch. Dinner is later. Much later.

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In my experience older people, especially retired ones, are up when they feel like getting up. They go to bed when ready to sleep. For us, that’s around one in the morning or later (earlier?). Even when we should go to bed earlier, “Just one more show?” usually wins over “Bed?”

Thus when the phone rang at eight this morning, I wasn’t happy. I got a new phone that plays Beethoven. Loudly. I’ve turned off the ringer in the bedroom, but I’m a light sleeper, so I can hear the phone ringing from three rooms away. At least my new ring tone is musical.

It took me a while to reconnoiter, to recognize the source of the noise. The phone. It’s the phone.

When I’m awake and focused, I only answer calls from people with names I recognize … or which come from a number that looks like a real person’s number. I don’t answer calls from 800 numbers because they aren’t people. They are recorded messages (talk about annoying) or hired solicitors. I know everyone’s got to make a living, but not by calling me.

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I can’t see the caller ID from the bed. It’s easier to snake my hand around the lamp and grab the phone.

“What?” I say. It would be a snarl, but I’m not awake enough to snarl. I can barely mumble.

From the receiver comes: “Hello? Hello? Is anyone there?”

I was there, but not for long. I clicked “End.” Put the phone back into the cradle. Plumped the pillow and went back to sleep. I was merely annoyed … until the phone rang again. I didn’t answer it. I just clicked it on, then off, so it would stop ringing.

It was Quicken Loans. Again. Twice before 9 in the morning. Wow.

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I knew why. Late last night I accidentally hit one of their ads on Facebook. It was late. I was clumsy. I aimed poorly and awakened a monster.

Quicken loans. I don’t want a loan. I don’t want to refinance my mortgage. I want to sleep. They called a total of 9 times today and sent me half a dozen emails. Be careful what you click. Be very, very careful.

Why 8 in the morning? Any time would be annoying, but earlier is much more annoying.

For anyone who reads this: I will never, ever buy anything at eight in the morning. Nor will I ever buy anything from a blind solicitation on the phone.

But I know, you’ll keep trying. You will never give up.



Categories: Communications, Customer Service, Humor

Tags: , , , , , ,

23 replies

  1. I just hate those cold calls. They seem to happen here just as we are about to sit down for dinner. Now have no landline so no junk calls. I just hate them, invasion of privacy

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  2. Pretty annoying, especially at eight in the morning or in that case any time in a day. Hard to get rid of those monsters.

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  3. Wow. There’s another evil anecdote for me to add to my anti-Facebook collection. Clicking an ad leading to a soliciation phone call… that’s scary!

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  4. Hard to be polite in those circumstances.
    Leslie

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  5. I get so many automated calls, it’s not even funny. Happens when your number is well known, or when you have a webpage. I did get a new, old phone a while back and now I can block numbers. Oh it comes in so handy…I love it.

    One click and “bye-bye” for good :-)_

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  6. I was getting so many calls during the day (which I didn’t know about until I was off work). I registered with the Telephone Preference Service (legitimate companies aren’t allowed to make unsolicited calls if you’re registered or they face millions in fines) and the calls all stopped! I don’t know if you have something similar (and similarly respected by companies) in the US?

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    • We have several “do not call” registries, and valid companies mostly respect them … but there are so many scammers out there … And where do you slot something like Quicken Loans? They are real, but they are also predators. They may have a legit company somewhere, but they ACT like scammers.

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  7. You should install ad-block and no-script on your computers browser. That way you don’t accidentally click on ads.

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  8. How terribly annoying!!! I had a similar experience when I submitted some rather vague info as a request for auto insurance quotes — almost before I hit enter, the phone rang, and I’m still getting mail, email, and phone calls as a result. I’ve begun to turn on the speaker phone as soon as I realize it’s a robotically dialed call, and let the people wonder if I’m there!

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