NO SUCH THING AS A STUPID QUESTION

I used to work in advertising, an industry about which it can be said — without fear of argument or contradiction — there’s no such thing as a stupid question.

Or, for that matter, a stupid answer. It is an industry with a passion for stupidity. It embraces it. An industry in which the demographic bottom line makes a slow third-grader look like a budding Einstein.

When I worked at Doubleday, we used to put warning labels on books. “Warning: May contain sexually explicit material.

Half the time, there was no sexually explicit material. It was boilerplate. We put it on boring books to make them look spicy. No surprise, we got complaints from customers who sought in vain for The Good Parts, but had found nothing but … literature. We pointed out we had said:


MAY contain sexually explicit material.”


We hadn’t actually promised it. No guarantees, implicit, implied, or whatever.

calvin klein underwear

In the name of pure research, I asked my husband if he, as a man (not as my husband, as a reporter, or as an otherwise intelligent human being) thought naked women in men’s underwear advertising would be a good idea. He said (and I quote): “Well, it would probably be a smart advertising ploy.”

Psychological, sociological, or cultural explanations? Nah. Irrelevant. It’s about money. Advertisers will do anything to sell the product. Sex sells. It always has. Always will. Put a naked body on the cover of any book and it will sell better (not to me, but to somebody somewhere). The same book without a naked person will sell fewer books. Fact, not opinion.

Getting back to the important issue of marketing men’s underwear. The kid had a point. While I think women wearing the men’s underwear might confuse customers (presumably men), as you can see, there is far from universal agreement on that point. Of course there ought to be sexy, naked women selling men’s underwear. They should be gazing at it with longing. Rubbing it all over their bodies while they gasp with pleasure. Caressing their breasts with it.

As for the larger question — why aren’t men’s underwear manufacturers already doing this kind of advertising?  Who says they aren’t?

jbs-mens-underwear_18



Categories: Humor, Shopping

Tags: , , , ,

12 replies

  1. Blog posts with half naked women in men’s underwear will generate more hits than blogs posts without half naked women in men’s underwear. I see what you did there…

    Like

  2. Why don’t they advertise the underwear to women, they are usually far more comfortable than women’s.

    Like

  3. A few naked women on the cover will probably sell anything. I’ll keep that in mind for my next book.
    Leslie

    Liked by 1 person

  4. So would any naked body make a book sell more copies or just a good looking one?

    Liked by 1 person

    • You got me. I’m assuming hotter is better.

      Liked by 1 person

    • It’s association – if you like the look of the body your brain falls for the idea you’ll like what it is associated with – in this case the book. If you don’t like the body then by association you won’t like the book and so probably won’t buy it. More people like the ‘average’ body than the ugly one. By average i mean the one that is a composite of a large number of bodies averaged to the most common one – this is what we find beautiful usually – symmetrical averageness. there are exceptions, usually in a minority though.

      love.

      Like

  5. The most interesting thing I’ve read all night haha.

    Liked by 2 people

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