Twenty-seven years. Twenty-seven long years. She looked down at the knives in her hand. Two simple steak knives … and he was backing up, directly into the knives. No one would believe the story, not for a minute.

“Hey! Stop! I’ve got knives in my hand. You’re backing right into the knives,” I said. The thought was just a tiny, momentary lapse …

“They’d never believe your story,” he commented as I put the knives in their sheathes.

“They have me in maximum security for the remainder, brief though it may be, of my so-called life.”

“The DNA alone would convict you,” he agreed. Good he hadn’t moved faster or it could have been all over before I had a chance to warn him …

Which bring me to what I bought for our anniversary

Garry doesn’t need clothing. Garry doesn’t need a tie or a watch. Nor jewelry, a book, a computer, or a cell phone. Garry doesn’t really need anything except possibly more hair which I promised I’d get him if I got rich from the proceeds of my book. I didn’t get rich and have not hit the lottery — unlikely having not bought any lottery tickets. Which means Garry still needs hair. Maybe in our next lifetime.

As for me, I don’t need anything anyone can buy. So, I figured there was nothing I could get that would be interesting, surprising, or unique. I was wrong.

It all started when we had Duke at the vet the other day. We got to postulating “what IS Duke?” The curled over the back tail, his funny scrunched in face scream some kind of Asian breed. Not the kind of dog you usually find roaming streets looking for a back alley girl dog for a quickie. Accidental backyard breeding? Intentional mix?

Something happened because we’ve got The Duke.

So, the vet says: “Maybe Shi Tzu? Not King Charles … no spaniel in this dog. Don’t think he’s any kind of herder … Okay. That’s it. You’re going to have to do DNA. I need to know what this dog IS,” said Dr. Marcie.

“I’d like to know too,” I said, “But those tests are pricey.”

“I think around $75 … something like that,” she admitted.

“Not this week,” I said. Although if she’ll pay, I’m up for it.

But this got me to thinking, so I looked up the DNA breed tests for dogs and indeed, they are in the $75 range. More pressingly, I have to get Bonnie clipped next week. She has reached the “stinking bag of black rags on legs” stage. Gibbs has a flat, smooth coat, so for now, he is okay. Garry pointed out that Duke is more a “hose him down” sort of guy. So rather than sending out DNA to discover Duke’s ancestors, I thought I’ll get Bonnie clipped.

But speaking of anniversaries, how about ancestral DNA for Garry and I? We may not need it, but it would certainly be different, right? Oddly, it’s less expensive to get the DNA for humans than for dog breeds. Go figure, right?

So. That’s what I did. DNA for we two lovebirds. In about four weeks, the mystery of our ancestors will unfold. The truth will be revealed! The veils of history will lift and all will be known. Or maybe not. We shall see.

As for Duke, I’m afraid he will have to wait until my curiosity goes over the top … or one of those lottery tickets comes in big.


  1. cagedunn September 18, 2017 / 12:15 am

    Looks a bit like a Tibetan spaniel to me – with a few extra lines to the genealogy.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. slmret September 18, 2017 / 12:29 am

    What an interesting anniversary gift!


      • Garry Armstrong September 18, 2017 / 8:57 am

        A very surprise surprise gift.

        As for the dark deed: You’ll take the fall. If they send you over, I’ll still be here. If you still don’t understand, it’s for all the retired TV News reporters everywhere.


  3. angloswiss September 18, 2017 / 12:45 am

    That is really interesting. What a great idea and for you and Gary as well. Perhaps you will get it cheaper if you do a three pack.


    • Marilyn Armstrong September 18, 2017 / 12:45 am

      I hoped that too, but it’s not cheaper by the bundle. But people are only $70. Dogs are nearly $80.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. lifelessons September 18, 2017 / 12:46 am

    What if you had had Duke’s DNA checked and found you were related? Now wouldn’t that be a huge coincidence???

    Liked by 1 person

  5. draliman September 18, 2017 / 3:25 am

    Exciting – I wonder what it will show? 🙂


    • Marilyn Armstrong September 18, 2017 / 4:55 am

      In my case, I’m betting a lot of eastern European stuff and maybe a Mongol or two — anything more would be very exciting.

      Garry? Anything is possible. West Indian and Irish we know about, but otherwise? Pirates of the Caribbean?

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Taswegian1957 September 18, 2017 / 10:01 am

    I’ve often thought that would be interesting to do. Looking forward to hearing who your ancestors are.


    • Marilyn Armstrong September 18, 2017 / 2:51 pm

      Me too. When I mentioned to my doctor that I have B+ blood, I got a very sharp look, followed by “Sounds like a Mongol dropped by for a visit.” That is also MY theory. Because Jews from Russia and Poland don’t HAVE B+ blood without a little outside help. Should be interesting.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Embeecee September 18, 2017 / 10:51 am

    Perhaps the “Duke” is that ‘rare’ American breed – the Heinz 57. A little of this, some of that over there…he’s American. A mixture all the way! 😉


    • Marilyn Armstrong September 18, 2017 / 2:52 pm

      He could be, but he doesn’t look like an American Heinz. He has an Asian breed face and that curled tail, neither of which are typical in any American dog. But he is going to wait. Garry and I go first this time!


  8. swo8 September 18, 2017 / 9:09 pm

    What does it matter you love him no matter what.


      • swo8 September 19, 2017 / 10:23 am

        Actually that applies tooth of them……


    • Marilyn Armstrong September 19, 2017 / 1:16 am

      They do look a lot like him, especially the ears, but he is way too big. He’s also too big for a Papillon cross. But it depends on what the other dog was, I suppose. Chihuahua cross with a Great Pyranees?

      Liked by 1 person

      • lwbut September 19, 2017 / 2:57 am

        I would not rule it out entirely – I’ve seen some fairly large chihuahua crosses – the mind can only boggle at the ‘logistics’ 😉




      • lwbut September 19, 2017 / 2:58 am

        P.S. – it was the legs that convinced me most – none of the other crosses i saw looked like Duke’s frame. 🙂



  9. queenofdanile September 19, 2017 / 9:27 am

    Could’ve saved you half your DNA fees. MrA is Samoan, remember? And wouldn’t it be a hoot if a piece of him was? 😀


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