FIBBING FRIDAY: BE GRATEFUL THAT IT DOESN’T LAST ALL YEAR!

From PCGUY IV comes this charming list of medical terms. Who could resist this marvelous selection?

sphincter, phalanges, rectum, varicose,
aorta, vein, artery, alveolus, bacteria, virus

Great selection! You left out “idiopathic,” but I forgive you. From the top:

SPHINCTER: Another way of describing a noose for hanging

PHALANGES: Angels are the top guys, but Phalanges are their assistants, keeping the paperwork and making sure everyone on the “list” gets seen. They used to be called Angelic Secretaries, but someone decided it was offensive.

RECTUM: The final word in a Latin mass, as in “brontosaurus rectum. Amen.”

VARICOSE: Two or more organs in one tight bodily area, like bladder and gall, ear and wax. All varicose organs are crowded together in bodily tenements, some with nothing but cold running water!

AORTA: The “A” blood vessel where there’s always lots of spurting blood. A-Orta, B-Orta, etceteral — all the way down to the one in your arm that’s supposed to give blood but never does.

VEIN: That’s the rocky location where you find gold and silver and sometimes, turquoise!

ARTERY: Pronounced here in the Hub of the Universe, as AHTERY, emphasis on the AHH. This is the where creativity begins and is the starting point for all human-created AHT.

ALVEOLUS: My father’s nickname.

BACTERIA: It used to be spelled Back-Teria and meant that tiny eating area where unpopular children were forced to eat by the popular kids. Teria simply means “on the ground.” They didn’t get tables and had to grovel on the floor. They never really minded. The popular kids were dummies anyway.

VIRUS: A disease your computer catches when you sneeze. Sadly, antibiotics don’t work against a virus, so you have to keep your computer warm and make it drink a lot of liquids.

Categories: Anecdote, Humor, Lies - lying - liars, lyrics, Medical, Music

Tags: Fibbing Friday, humor, Marilyn Armstrong, Medical terminology, Tom Lehrer