Marilyn and I follow lots of those TV procedural crime shows. We anticipate all the cliché lines.
“Stay in the car”
“He was turning his life around.”
“Everyone loved him.”
“No one was supposed to get hurt!”
We usually figure out who the “vics” and “perps” are before the coppers and lawyers find the answer, often before the credits finish rolling. Now, fiction has turned to cold, hard reality in our home. We are the victims. Not the mob, not the cabal, not even some local mokes looking for an easy score.
It’s an inside job and the perps are our DOGS!
They’ll smile, offer constant affection and cheer us up when we aren’t feeling good. But it’s part of their sting.
Food is the motive. Their “jackets” are full of priors. Most are misdemeanors but now they’ve moved up the chain to felony. Bonnie, our beloved Scottie, is the boss. She leads the furry gang in snatches, intimidation, assault (head butting), larceny and perjury.
We’ve tried to turn their lives around with extra Christmas goodies, more fun battles on the love seat and long chats to emphasize our affection.
But Bonnie and her accomplices are food-driven. Nothing we do can stop this furry reign of terror. We don’t want to profile Bonnie because she is black, and we are afraid of possible lawsuits. Perhaps the IA people can check out her background.
Bonnie, clearly driven to revenge, is hell-bent on retribution because … we’ve put her on a diet. Bonnie is relentless in stealing Marilyn’s food. She stalks Marilyn and refuses to back down when confronted. The other dogs make sure Bonnie’s six is protected.
We’ve tried so hard to show them the path to a good life but their crimes are senseless.
Generosity… That was our first mistake.
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Categories: #animals, #Photography, Anecdote, dogs, Garry Armstrong, Humor, Pets
SERENDIPITY - SEEKING INTELLIGENT LIFE ON EARTH 
Loved this post. So true!
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Look at those savage faces! How can we keep them in our home? Clearly they are going to kill us in our sleep. Or at the least, steal all the cookies.
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I think even if that gang was brought to justice, the puppy dog eyes would keep any jury from convicting them…
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That’s her standard M.O. Sooner or later, though, those eyes won’t be enough and it’s the bighouse for them.
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Squirrel, a source tells me they’ve already gotten to the jury. And, there’s a gap in the crucial tape that would surely convict them.
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It’s so sad to see a good dog go bad 🙂
Are they at least checking in with their parole officer between heists?
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Bonnie says she is … but she lies like a dog.
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The P.O. claims they were turning their lives around. How naive!
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Hysterical! Based on those mug shots, that’s a tough crew!
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They are tougher than they look. Okay, they aren’t, but they give us looks that haven’t been washed in decades 🙂
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We have a cookie thief too. Her name is Ace she is so funny to watch.Ace even went through all the gift bags under the Christmas tree looking for her PRESENTS.
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Did she find them? Or someone else’s?
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I had to smile about this post, just showed it to my husband. Our dogs are the same way. They are bandits and merciless when it comes to milking us for treats. I am certain they train the sad look in front of the mirror when we are gone.
I just put our tow older ones on a diet…and it’s no walk in the park.
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They get really frantic when they are on diets. You’d swear these beefy pups were starving to death. I’m sure when they go outside and bark that they are telling the entire neighborhood how we starve and mistreat them.
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I was just logging off when your comment came in.
We are on a diet on day #2 and I am already worn out. I hid my lunch, because I couldn’t resist those puppy eyes. But they are older now and the extra weight is not healthy. I am going to be strong, but I think I will have lunch in the bathroom from now on 🙂
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In the summer, I put them out and lock the door behind them. But this time of year, I can’t and I too may start eating in the bathroom. With the door closed. Jeez.
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those eyes always melt our hearts don’t they?
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Yes, except that I have to remember that the health of my creatures is in my hands. They may want to eat themselves into obesity, but I have to be the adult. They certainly don’t make it easy.
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The eyes are their “tells”. Meant to distract as they move in for the snatch.
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Some dogs are just bad to the bone.
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Born bad. Bad seed. But cute. VERY cute.
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Yes, bad to the bone and cult favorites at Petsmart.
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You have to admire Bonnie’s persistence. She’s not a quitter.
Leslie
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You’re right about that. She NEVER gives up.
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They are part of the joy of 2015, wonderful photos.
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Yes, they are 🙂 And they know it!
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They have a sixth sense of knowing just to get around you.
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I think they have all five senses attuned to getting what they want 🙂
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It all comes down to addiction. If we could only, as a society, make dog food legal, have specified clean ingestion sites, there would be no need for this sort of violence. Wait a minute ……
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DC, we’ve tried our best…but sometimes love isn’t enough. They’re bad to the bone and lie like dogs.
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I’m sure when the neighbors and relatives are interviewed, they will say, “I’m shocked. She’s always been such a sweet, quiet dog.”
I’m glad I only have one dog at the moment – Cody would so love to be in charge of a food-theft ring.
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Cody would probably fit in very nicely. Bonnie is always looking for good help. I’m thinking about calling NCIS, the FBI, the CIA, Homeland, Scotland Yard and the Animal Channel.
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Noooo, not the Animal Channel! That’s too harsh!
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