IT’S YOUR FAULT. YES, YOU!

Sleepy Time – More and more of us go to bed too late because of sleep procrastination. What are the nighttime rituals that keep you up before finally dozing off?


I blame you, WordPress. Until I started blogging, I’d go to bed, read a bit, then clutch my pillow and be off to dreamland for a few restless, miserable hours. Now, I have to check (and recheck) my blog. See how today’s offerings look on three differently formatted devices (tablet, Kindle, small computer). Find the typos. There are always typos because I am The Typo Queen and no one can put more typos in a small post than I can. If typos could be made an Olympic event, I would have a gold medal — but I digress. What was I talking about?

Oh. Sleep. The whole “bedtime procrastination” thing. I don’t think we could be classified as a bedtime procrastinators because we have no schedule. As retirees, we rarely need to get up at a particular time. Unless there’s something on the calendar. The only other thing remotely time-sensitive is trying to shop for groceries on Tuesday when the supermarket gives its senior discount.

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Personally, I think they should give us a discount every day. Tuesday is a mess of scooters, walkers, and bewildered people trying to remember why they are in the bread aisle and if they are lost or truly need bread. And where’s the list? They can’t find their money at checkout and are frequently confused as to where they left the car. Since we aren’t that far behind them, mentally speaking, we wait patiently as they work their way through the equation of life. Soon that could be us. I’m willing to bet this is unrelated to the hour at which they went to bed.

Hopefully, we won’t be stuck behind them as we exit the parking lot. They drive so slowly. If we had a manual transmission, we’d never make it out of first. They have to compete with the other slow, bad drivers who are decades younger. The younger folks can’t drive because they are too busy. Texting, talking on the phone, adjusting radios, yelling at kids (husband, dogs, themselves) while swerving all over the road.

It’s a nightmare out there and it has nothing to do with getting enough sleep, although it is possible that some of the slowest drivers are taking a nap, don’t realize they are at the wheel of a car and supposed to be moving.

Have I forgotten anything? Where’s my list?



Categories: #Blogging, Humor, Shopping, Technology, Traffic, WordPress

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17 replies

  1. You made me laugh, your description of the grocery run is so apt. AND, the WordPress thing – my WP app flashes across the top of my iPad while I’m reading myself to sleep telling me I have a new follower or comment. Sometimes I look, most times I don’t – because as you say – I’ll be up in a few hours and the real keyboard calls!

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    • I turned off most of the notifications. The ones I didn’t turn off don’t seem to work anyhow. Just as well. I can check for myself! It’s quite intrusive enough without encouraging it 🙂

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  2. Now that I’m starting my second holiday week, my bedtime has moved from around 2130 to anywhere between 2330 and midnight, and I’m getting up between 0500 and 0730. I don’t bother staying in bed because I know I can have a nap later on!
    So evidently the usual routine of work is the only thing that ensures me a decent chunk of sleep.

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  3. Ugh, the grocery store. The thought makes me shudder. There isn’t a really good day to go here. You have to avoid the 1st and the 3rd, when SSI and SSDI come out, and pretty much the 1st thru the 10th when food stamps come out. And of course, the weekend, or any evening between 4:00pm and 7:00pm. I wish sometimes that I was a super-early-riser and could go like at 6:00 in the morning when it’s deserted. I’m also on “retirement time” to a degree, although four days a week I have to be somewhere by 10:00. I don’t know how I used to manage getting to work every day at 8:00. Oh wait, I didn’t, very well.

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    • I did it. I’m astonished that I managed to not only get there, but have a very long commute, too. Garry had a short commute, but 15 to 16 (sometimes more) hour days. So whenever someone suggests we miss work — or find more work — we say (in a single voice) HELL NO. I know I couldn’t do it now. I’m burned out.

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  4. I don’t think Thornton Wilder had us in mind. Everyday is a test of our sanity when we venture out. .As for bedtime or sleep time, anything goes in retirement. One of the few perks. Say goodnight, Gracie.

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  5. agree with this entire post!!! loved it 😀 😀

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  6. Why do supermarkets have the senior discount on Tuesday – so ridiculous. Mr. Swiss and I do not go to the supermarket on Tuesday. We go on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. It is so ridiculous, I never get my discount, but I do get double and sometimes even 10x cumulus points if I study the app on my iPad or iPhone. Oh we women just have to be awak all of the time. My computer is switched off at 8 in the evening, or pehaps 9, depending on what I am doing. But no worry, my iPad is always on receiving wavelength and so is Mr. Swiss, although I do not know what he does all evening with it. He does not blog or even play Candy Crush.

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    • Tuesday is a terrible day … which is probably why they make it Senior Discount Day. It’s the only way to get us out of the house and into the supermarket. Tuesday is not a good day for anything except sleeping late. My husband turns off his computer, but his iPhone is always on and he often uses it to make his comments. Why he wants to use some a small, inconvenient device, I have no idea. He doesn’t even like his iPhone and complains about it all the time. It’s still entirely the fault of WordPress. Everything is their fault, probably because we never got the tee-shirts we so richly deserve 🙂

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  7. I too, hop into bed, turn out the light, and then open up my iPad and check to see if there are any new posts in my reader, any new comments on my posts, and to check my stats. I don’t read the new posts in my reader, I don’t reply to any comments on my posts, and I don’t obsess about my stats. I just put my iPad away, close my eyes and fall right to sleep. Because I know that I’ll be up and awake sometime between 4 and 6 a.m. and I’ll have plenty of time to do all them when I wake up.

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    • I also just look. Partly because I want to comment when I’m awake, preferably full of caffeine … and because I’d rather use something with a real keyboard. And there has to be a point when I’m done for the day. But still, I look. And I will also be up at least once when it’s too early to get up … or the middle of the night … and I’ll look again. It’s still their fault 🙂

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  8. LOL I thought it was just me. Sometimes the thought of getting up to brush my teeth and wash my face so I can go to bed is just too much… Not that sitting here playing on my phone or reading for another hour makes it any easier to do, but that’s what happens. Silly isn’t it?!
    I think it’s awesome that your grocery store gives a senior discount. Monday seems to be housewife day at the grocery store (although we don’t get a discount) so Tuesday for seniors make sense. Saturdays and Sundays are for suckers…I’ve got to REALLY need something to go shopping on the weekend !!!

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