In Israel, they have a word that translates loosely to “close-far.” It refers to the tribe of “almost relatives” by marriage or informal adoption. This includes all the rest of the folks who claim some sort of relationship to you, like your cousin Alfie’s second wife’s husband’s niece.
I recommend we have a Gathering Day during which we collect all these “relatives.” The ones who are related by blood, albeit so distantly we are unclear on lines of descent (but are sure they are there, somewhere), the kids mom and dad fostered while their parents were getting a divorce. The related-by-marriage to second and third cousins and their off-spring. The brothers-in-law of our sister-in-law, twice divorced and their adopted children’s children from their third marriage.
A mighty big picnic. With guitars. And booze. Lots of burning meat. A sing along to which everyone brings their favorite dishes.
Ya think? We get a day off from work during the best time of year for warm, sunny weather and do it in a public park. It’s safer in public.
We will call it Extended Family Day. It would be a huge hit! The greeting cards and invitations alone would generate a ton of money and maybe some new jobs! No downside unless you are unlucky enough to come from a family dominated by bad cooks.
Who’s ready to jump on my bandwagon?
Don’t be a spoil sport. Even if you have no known relatives or none you want to know, you can invite all the fake aunts and cousins — or hook up to another group and be one of the almost relatives in someone else’s clan. Anyone for whom you feel even the vaguest familial attachment will suffice.
On this special day of days, water is as thick as blood!
Categories: celebration, Family, Holidays, Humor, Relationships
Sounds like a real party!! Meet the Machatunim!!
LikeLike
I haven’t heard that expression in years. Does my heart good. Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ll hop onto that bandwagon! http://judydykstrabrown.com/2015/07/04/stepparents-day-2/
LikeLike
Me too. It would be fun, wouldn’t it?
LikeLike
That happens now with Facebook – one invitation sent out, 3000 or so turn up. Ooops.
LikeLike
I guess the secret is to not give ones address!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Now our police ask to be informed when someone is having a big party – just so they can get their batons and riot gear out just in case. You never know when they may be needed.
LikeLike
I don’t think anyone has given a big party around here in ten years, since our neighbor, Ed and his wife broke up. It has gotten quieter and quieter.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, peace and quiet. Nice.
LikeLike
Usually. Sometimes, a bit lonesome, too.
LikeLike
What should I say? You know it better. When I can share anything on earth with you then You are more than a family. It must be a good fun to enjoy in a big gathering.
LikeLike
Must be. We are actually on our own this holiday, which is how it has been for quite a few years. The days of big barbecues ended quite a while ago.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can come up with many “sisters”. Well they feel like sisters and friends that feel like family. Love picnics 🙂
LikeLike
When family doesn’t feel like family, it is very good to have friends!
LikeLike
I don’t have family since a very long time, had to create my own.
LikeLike
I had one. The created one is a big improvement.
LikeLike
Yes, drown in love.
LikeLike
😀
LikeLike
Kevin Bacon would have an expensive party planned, he’s supposedly connected to almost everyone (see “Bacon Number”) 🙂
LikeLike
Well … he hasn’t been in touch with me! Should I be insulted?
LikeLike
Hmmm, how many extended families are we all a part of? Which party would we go to? Or maybe we are really just all part of one extended family…… WORLD PARTY!!!
LikeLike
Absolutely. Come one, come all!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Something to do!
LikeLike
Burn meat. Blow things up. THAT’S a party!
LikeLike
My extended family would have to come from other parts of the world. If they all came, it would be the best holiday ever.
LikeLike
Me too. All the people I’ve met online and will probably never meet in person. I have more in common with most of them than I do with most people around here. Big sigh on that one.
LikeLike
I’m with ya. ^_^ Except I don’t really know anyone in my family. I could buy invitations but other than the kidlets, I’d have no one to send them to. Ha! Friends and family of friends it is! Maybe the hubster’s family (except they’re annoying as hell).
LikeLike
Using my logic, you could invite random strangers you meet on line in the supermarket because we are all related if we say we are 🙂 Let the annoying ones be someone else’s family. For ONE day, we can have the family we wish we had.
LikeLike
Sounds like fun to me. Then we’d have a different family every year! Bitchin’!
LikeLike
We might even LIKE some of them! Imagine that!
LikeLike
I thought we already had such a “gathering day” holiday. It’s called Thanksgiving.
LikeLike
When we all lived in the same state it was, but now, we are spread out all over the place and not to put too fine a point on it, a great many former attendees are MIA. Permanently. Younger generations are not as interested so we need to reform the family and do it at a time of year when we can be pretty sure it won’t snow … and maybe the traffic won’t be quite so horrific. Or maybe we’ll make the traffic horrific. Who knows?
LikeLike
Just what we need, yet another Hallmark holiday.
LikeLike
I promise not to send ANY cards. I never do anyway.
LikeLike
I hope they are still speaking to each other. It might be my chance to meet my long lost rich part of the family, yes, let’s do it.
LikeLike
I’m pretty sure I don’t HAVE a rich part of the family, but maybe I can find a childless rich person to be my favorite uncle. Always worth a try.
LikeLike
Really??
LikeLike
No. Fakely 🙂
LikeLike