So I thought this was kind of interesting. Little did I know that it was going to take up most of my morning. Gee whiz … I mean … I haven’t answered this many questions since my last doctor’s appointment.

I blame you, Willow, of Willow’s Corner. Now, it’s personal!

1. Does jet-lag affect you?  YES!! MORE NOW THAN EVER. BUT WE DO NOT FLY MUCH ANYMORE.
2. Are you afraid to walk alone at night? NO!! BUT I NEVER REALLY WALK ALONE. (Music up full.)
3. How did it make you feel the first time you ever held a baby in your arms — yours or someone else’s? AWED.
4. Do you fold your undergarments and socks? I FOLD – **NEATLY**!!!!!!!!!!
5. Is there a specific place where you go to think? where is it and why there? MY BATHROOM. PRIVACY.
6. How many houseplants do you have? How are they faring? ONE OR TWO. THEY ARE SURVIVING.
7. Do you have a garden — flower or vegetable? HAD A GARDEN TIL THE CATERPILLAR INVASION.
8. How many hats do you own? Do you wear them all? MYRIAD. WEAR 3. NCIS, RED SOX & SCOTTIES.
   

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9. Does your best friend call you their best friend? NO!! HE IS A FUNCTIONING MUTE.
10. Do you struggle to finish a bad book or do you set it aside forever? BAD BOOKS DIE QUICKLY.
11. Have you ever been in a food fight? YES. ON LIVE TV. BIZARRO!!
12. Have you ever brought a stray animal home? MYSELF.
13. Can a well-written book make you care about their characters enough to cry for them? YES! MOST RECENTLY, STEPHEN KING’S,  “11/22/63”.
14. Have you seen Karma at work in your life?  YA THINK, PROBIE?
15. How do you deliver bad news? DIRECTLY WITH MINIMAL WORDS. USED TO DO IT PROFESSIONALLY ON CAMERA.
16. In general, how do you feel when you come home from a long vacation? TIRED AND READY FOR ANOTHER
17. Are book covers important in getting you to read a book? NO. IT IS THE CONTENT.
18. How many shoes do you have? Are there any orphan shoes? Why do you keep them? MYRIAD. NO. LIKE TO HAVE CHOICES.
19. How would you describe your housekeeping strategy? HIT AND MISS.
20. If you could be a superhero, would you take that chance? YES, PILGRIM.
21. If you had the wherewithal to invent something, anything, what would it be? TIME MACHINE.
22. If you had to live for a month on what’s in your refrigerator, would you make it? PROBABLY.
23. Name something that seemed inconsequential but had a huge influence on your life (for example, a commercial, a postcard, or something you might have overheard). A COMPLIMENT ON HOW I LISTEN TO PEOPLE. CAME FROM A CELEBRITY TALK SHOW HOST. PROVED A KEY IN MY OWN CAREER.
    

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24. How do you feel about the idea of Artificial Intelligence? or robots in general? I WANT MY OWN DRONE.
25. What “redneck” (unsophisticated) activity do you like to do? WATCHING OLD (COWBOY) MOVIES.
26. What (if anything) do you think is beyond the stars?  AN OSCAR FOR BEST ACTOR.
27. What are the most common lies your peer group tells?  HOW GOOD THE OLD DAYS WERE.
28. Are there characteristic about yourself that you find annoying in other people? POKER FACE
29. What do you think of when you think of California? OLD HOLLYWOOD.
30. Is there a food that is too much work for you to eat? LOBSTER, BARBECUE RIBS AND CORN ON COB.
31. What highbrow, cultured activity do you like to participate in? LISTENING TO VIN SCULLY BASEBALL BROADCASTS.
32. Is there a historical culture that fascinates you? OLD WEST. COWBOYS. PRINT THE LEGEND.
33. What — if any — historical injustice still upsets you? SLAVERY!!!!!!!!
34. Are there habits other people have that you find suspicious?  PEOPLE WHO SMILE AFTER SAYING “TRUST ME”.
35. What do you think is a good place to travel but you would not want to live there?  BORA BORA
36. Is there a scary scene from a movie (or book) you viewed a child that still haunts you? “HOUSE OF WAX” (ORIGINAL) SEEING VINCENT PRICE’S DISFIGURED FACE FOR THE FIRST TIME.
37. What is the cheapest price you can ever remember paying for gas?  $.79 A GALLON. LONG, LONG AGO.
38. How far south have you traveled?  TEXAS, RIO GRANDE BANKS. THEN TO PUERTO VALLARTE, MEXICO
39. When did you realize you’d become an adult? STILL WAITING.
40. What jokes did your grandparents tell you as a child that you remember fondly? X RATED.
41. Is there a piece of technology that you do not own but would like to? DRONE.
42. Do you have any secrets for getting better service? POLITENESS.
43. What slang word or phrase do you love to use? PRINT THE LEGEND!
44. What technology, real or imagined, scares you? DRONES
45. Is there a traditional gender role or stereotype that you agree or disagree with?  “WELL SPOKEN BLACK MAN.”
46. What type of commercials to you find particularly annoying? ALL!
47. What was the first thing you learned to cook?  HOT DAWG!
48. What’s the highest above sea level you’ve ever been? How did you get there?   ???? JET FLIGHT.
49. Is there something that you do now, but wouldn’t do if weren’t the for the law (for example carry car insurance or wear your seat belt).  SNIFFIN’ GLUE.  JUST KIDDIN’.
50. Have you ever tried to touch the moon?  ONCE UPON A TIME WHEN THE WORLD WAS YOUNG.
    

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51. When you have out-of-town guests, what tourist things do you show them?  OUR BEAUTIFUL VALLEY
52. Where is the strangest place you have fallen asleep? NO COMMENT.
53. Would you be willing to live off the grid? (follow link for definition) FOR THE RIGHT MONEY.
54. If someone paid you enough money, would you provide them a false alibi? NO!!!!
55. Would you volunteer to be one of the first colonists on Mars? YES!!!
    

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PLEASE SEND THE CASHIER”S CHECK FOR THIS SURVEY TO MY CAYMAN ISLANDS ACCOUNT.

Categories: Garry Armstrong, Humor, Personal

Tags: Garry Armstrong, humor, interview, Personal, Questions and answers