Dreams are as personal as anything gets. Normal dreams are some kind of weird, twisted personal experience, set in a hazy backdrop of ordinary things turned upside down or sideways. This particular dream was unique because it wasn’t personal. 

It was a real dream — I’m not making this up — which wasn’t about me and mine, except tangentially. It was the “all of us,” the giant “we” of the world. I didn’t like it. It made me angry. Sad. I don’t know which emotion was stronger or more painful, but probably the sadness which I am still feeling.

Last foliage – November 8

Last night I dreamed about the world. Not our personal, individual world. It was about the “real world” of politics and malaise. I dreamed about migrant workers who pick grapes and were starving because the pay they got was not enough to live on. I dreamed about a bunch of people I was supposed to be caring for.  For whom I had been preparing special food, but when I went to eat something, they snatched the food off the plate and ate it before I could. And laughed because they thought it was hilarious.

I thought: “I’ve been spending my days trying to make their lives better, yet when I want something, they take it and laugh.” Not a happy moment.

I woke up twice. Tried to shake the dream. It was not exactly a nightmare, but it certainly wasn’t pleasant.

I remember at one point, my guests in this big hazy house in which I was living were throwing food away … and the migrant workers were starving. When I suggested we give them the food, they laughed again.

November 18th — 10 days later

And I woke up thinking: “Why, in this country, is waste acceptable … but charity is scorned?”

Why are we so uncharitable? Why are we so uncaring, so unloving, so cruel? What is wrong with us? How did I stumble into this place I do not understand?

Why did I have that particular, strangely impersonal dream?  It is hours later. I’m still wondering.

What is wrong with us?

Categories: Autumn, Photography, woodland, Woods

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30 replies

  1. I wish I knew what is wrong with us. I think so many people that make the rules are just out of touch with how everyday live. They don’t understand hard times, hard work or suffering. I don’t dislike wealthy people, good for them. But I would like them to have a heart and spend some time learning what it is like in the real world before they can get paid to look after our interests.


    • I also think we have a lot of bitter, unhappy people living in this country who feel cheated by everything. And an awful lot of haters. I’m frequently glad we live in as blue as state as the U.S. has. Even with the ice and snow.

      Liked by 1 person

      • It is the same here in Canada. Ontario has become the Province of bad decisions and wasted money. Many of us feel like we just aren’t heard or even thought about. Pay up, work hard for less, and shut up. They know best. But if they screw up, we pay for that too! No one pays for their mistakes that should pay. Someone else does. So nothing changes.


  2. Yesterday, the all volunteer emergency food bank in Monte Vista provided Thanksgiving dinners to more than 500 people; 110+ families in our county. It doesn’t sound like a lot of people, but it is a sizable percentage. They were lined up outside the food bank at 11. It opens at noon. All the food was donated along with some monetary donations. It’s just one example of charity beginning at home. There is a lot of poverty in the San Luis Valley. There is also a lot of charity, volitional not organizational charity. A local battered women’s shelter last Christmas put out a call for stuffed animals for a Christmas party for the kids who are sheltered there and they had enough given to them to give toys to kids throughout the year. The values we grew up with are alive and well, the important thing is to look where they are active. I absolutely do not share this bleak view. There’s a lot of shit in the world, a lot of greed, a lot of selfishness, but there is also a lot of human kindness, warmth, generosity and heart. BUT you had a nightmare and I’d sure want to wake up from that, too. ❤


    • We have that too, the valley being another place with a lot of poverty. The food bank is volunteer and run by a very sensitive group of people who try to make sure no one feels humiliated by using it. Our local grocery is a big contributor and it’s one of the reasons we keep going there. The others are national chains, but Hannaford is New England and each shop is more or less rooted in a neighborhood. Yes, there is a lot of local stuff, but we live in a bigger world full of people who seem to be missing a piece of what ought to make them human. They are not human. I don’t know what they are.

      Around here, people who don’t believe in charity are charitable. That sounds odd, but the things they do for local folks isn’t charity, it’s just “helping out.” And we all need some help sometimes. We did and now we don’t, but it was there when we needed it and I have never forgotten. There are “free” boxes in every shop. You put stuff there and anyone who needs or wants it can take it. Clothing, toys, utensils, housewares. No one says anything to anyone about it.

      I know that the values are there, but they are also missing from way too many people and those people are in charge of too much important stuff. I do not know how it could be possible for this country to have elected these defective, mean-spirited, stupid people to govern us. I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in my nightmares.

      I was glad to wake up. I’ve never had a dream quite like that … and it wouldn’t go away. It still hasn’t gone away. This wasn’t supposed to happen here. I truly believed EVERYONE had a conscience. I was wrong.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Those people were elected by gullible people who believed their lies. 😟


      • Also I think the local stuff is very, very important because we live locally.

        I recently have gotten to know a woman about whom I got, initially, kind of a bad impression. I have my biases… 😉 (who knew?) As individual people, we’re pretty similar, but different lives have brightened different lights. I’m very glad I wasn’t swayed too much by my first impression, but I also hope we never find ourselves in a political discussion.

        I think Trump and his buddies just latched onto the jargon of a particular mindset and used it to win the election. It happens to be a mindset that’s very common where I now live. The natural urge of people to look for others like themselves betrayed a lot of good people in the last election and now so many of them are saving face.


  3. It’s a thought I’ve had more than once, Marilyn. Stores refuse to give “day old” they cannot sell to those who could use it, instead threatening to fire anyone that thinks of giving it away. They throw it in the garbage! It infuriates me. Sometimes what they give food banks (at least the ones I’ve seen) is absolute trash, not edible for the sorriest hungriest of animals yet rotted vegetables and fruit are given away instead of something healthy. There is much that can be done to assist those in need. My other gripe is why people continually point their fingers at the needy suggesting they are a blight, when politicians have gold severance packages (in canada) and are set for life with medical, dental, insurance, whatever they need while trying to take away the little the desperate need. I could rant on this forever. I’m sorry you had a rough sleep. I haven’t slept well in months, and the last two days horrific, with nightmares that I can’t explain.


    • As I said: WHAT IS WRONG WITH US? There is definitely something wrong.


      • I agree. I don’t know where to begin. It’s as if all the “values” we grew up with, caring about others, protecting the innocent and “do no harm” have fallen by the wayside and mean nothing. It’s more than greed, it’s the depth of lack of compassion. I recently read an article about an 81 year old man down south Georgia I believe, the incident was caught on tape. He was heard calling out he couldn’t breath and for help. The RN and 3 others stood by his bed and laughed until he died. It went to court and the RN lost her nursing license (nothing happened to the others involved) and I was enranged, horrified, furious, inconsolable. Someone’s father brother uncle lay there gasping, dying, and they did nothing. In court she said she did this that and the other. Then they pulled up the tapes (they have recording devides all over the home) but I thought what good did it do, he’s still dead, his family has lost a loved one! It is heinous!


        • I am more than a little lost in the world of “now.” I didn’t sign up for this world. I never even thought it was optimistic to believe that most people were basically decent until this past couple of years. It’s like having reality turned upside down and inside out and there’s nothing amusing or funny about it. I am glad I’m old. If I were young, looking at this world, I think I would be in total despair.


          • I so agree with you. If they are looking at the reality, that is how it would strike (me)them, no wonder they dissolve into themselves and cell phones and the land of “unreality”. What is there for them to look forward to?


    • I worked at a bakery that offered end of day (fresh baked that morning) to a food bank if they would pick it up. They did not want to drive there to get it.
      I worked at a grocery store, that by law, were not allowed to donate things that were close to end date because if anyone got sick, they could sue. Head office of all the stores would not let any of them do it. We can thank red tape for all of that. Sad, isn’t it?


  4. We have food banks here in Canada. I hate to say that an awful lot of people (even working people) depend on them to feed their families and the numbers are growing. Something is definitely wrong.


  5. A lot is wrong with us. In my 70 years I have never seen the world organisation in such a shambles as it is today. The wrong people have the wrong jobs and we just look on. Dreams can be very weird, especially when they touch reality.

    Liked by 1 person

    • This one was awful without being a “real” nightmare. And I couldn’t shake it loose. I got up twice and it came back twice. I finally got up because sleeping was not pleasant. I think the awfulness of the world is getting to me on a very personal level. A very painful personal level. I never imagined I could feel so bad about something that ISN’T personal, but everything is so very wrong.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I would categorize that .. phenomenon as a vision, not a dream. Just my personal take on what you describe. Why is that happening (the things in the vision…the greedy and overfed versus the needy and underfed)? Perhaps we’ve become so complacent about the massive bounty that has been ours for so long that we no longer appreciate it. What is wrong with us? For the “god folk” (like myself) it’s soul sickness. We’ve lost compassion, charity, hope. We’ve put a dingleberry in the white house (and if you look up ‘dingleberry’ that’s EXACTLY what that distasteful person IS) and we’re all running around saying “Oh my GOSH (or god)” and doing NOTHING. We blaspheme without thought, we ignore poverty and need. We are entitled and selfish. THAT, to me anyway, is what is wrong with us. And yes, there are those among the millions who are the exact opposite, who get up each day and thank God (and again, not insisting that it has to be ‘god’ that they thank or even believe in) that they have so much. Go out into the world and give aid to others where they see a need. Are compassionate. Sadly I’d say those few are less than 1% of our total population. And ain’t that just SAD?


    • We are poor at this point in our lives, yet I still manage to find ways to give … and I’m constantly getting ripped off. It happens so often, I’m embarrassed to even admit it. I trust people and somehow, despite everything, assume the best of them.

      I thought the world was better than this. Through all the years, I thought things were better. I realize now that things were never as good as I thought they were, but I never imagined that they were as BAD as they are … or that we seem to have effectively made NO progress over the years.

      It is depressing. I never imagined I would live in a world like this. I didn’t even imagine it was possible that my world would be like this. Did not believe so many people could be so … evil, so mean.

      And yes, I know what a dingleberry is. And he definitely IS one.

      Liked by 1 person

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