This is the month of love in the U.S. I know I’m supposed to get excited about it, but to be fair, I’ve never thought Valentine’s Day was a big deal. I love cutting out hearts when I was in elementary school, but that’s about as excited as I ever was. Also, as far as I’m concerned, every month is the month of love. You need to love each other in January and November, too!



In your opinion, do May/December (older partner with much younger partner) romances ever work?

Yes. I know quite a few that worked very well for a long time. Just because I’m curious, what do you mean by “much younger”? Five years? Ten years? Twenty years? My first husband was 8 years older than I was, which seemed a big deal at the time, but now seems like nothing. My second husband was three years younger than me, and Garry is five years older. “Much” younger (or older) would seem to me to be at least a generational difference. I think what matters is how people feel about each other, why they are getting married, and if they are happy with the arrangement — both of them.

What physical action or gesture do you find romantic?

These days? Helping me fill the bird feeders and just being nice to me.

After a certain age, a lot of what we thought of as “romantic” when we were young isn’t what we are looking for when we are older. These days, I look for emotional support and help. I don’t know if other people think it’s romantic, but it works for me.

What is your idea of a romantic dinner?

A great dinner I didn’t have to prepare or clean up afterward.

Is ‘love’ a real ‘thing’ or merely a physical chemical response and brain activity pulling our emotional strings?

Love is complicated. It’s caring for each other in good times and bad, shared interests, similar political positions, equivalent intelligence, laughing at the same stuff. It doesn’t mean that you need identical interests, but you need some overlap in some intellectual areas. Liking the same movies or at least liking many of the same movies. Having similar opinions on major issues makes a huge difference. Love is very real, but it’s not one thing. It ‘s a bunch of thing and it changes as you age individually and as a couple. What was adorable when you were 18 may not be particularly interesting or attractive when you’re 30. It may be downright annoying by the time you’re 40 and weird when you are 70. It’s why second marriages are often more successful than the first.

The one thing marriage isn’t is “lust with a license.” The lust of pre and early marriage rarely outlasts the raising of children or a lifetime of two people working full time. Marriage also isn’t always fun. There are a lot of rough times in any marriage. If you can’t work through them, the marriage goes away. A big part of love is friendship and recognizing what’s important and what isn’t.

As for gratitude… 

I’m really glad I managed to get Garry vaccinated, or at least half-vaccinated. A few more things need to fall into place and then I’ll be even MORE grateful.

Categories: Gallery, Humor, Marriage, Photography, Relationships, Share My World

Tags: , , , , , ,

10 replies

  1. Thank you Marilyn for Sharing Your World! The two of you are a shining example of ‘love’, it shows in your faces, your attitudes towards each other and how you care for each other! I know it took some tries to get it right, but when you did, you did it right! Those photos are a priceless treasure, showing a life filled with more love than not. Thank you for being an example of a ‘good’ relationship, especially in these times of so many failed and bad examples of that. ❤


    • I think we are now living with the fear that sooner or later, someone will die and our current plan is to die simultaneously. Sadly, it rarely happens that way but we haven’t come up with a better plan. I don’t know about “shining example,” but at least we’ve learned to not go to bed angry (unless it’s too late to fight it out) and we’ve learned to NEVER call names, DON’T bring up things that happened 10 years (or more) ago, and DON’T bring in the opinions of other people, friends, or family. Those are three bombs that can blow up any relationship.

      Never, ever throw in former boy or girl friends — or other marriages or relationships — or alcoholism or drugs when someone has stopped doing that. If they are still stoned, read a book. Stoners don’t “discuss” and worse, they don’t remember what they or you said the next day.

      A final note: if your mate is hard of hearing, make sure that they really heard what you SAID. We had a lot of really stupid fights based on what Garry thought I said. He could read lips a little, but the word “no or not” doesn’t show, so “do not throw this away” and “throw this away” look visibly the same. Even if they aren’t officially hard of hearing, make sure they heard what you said because we all mumble, talk when we aren’t facing the person we’re talking to. Background music or television can make pieces of conversation disappear. You feel incredibly dumb when you realize you’ve literally had a fight about NOTHING because one person didn’t hear the other.


  2. Your faces tell it all! Pictures are fabulous.


    • I was surprised we actually had that many pictures since these are the only pictures usually taken by strangers who may or may not know how to use a camera. We’ve been lucky and met people who were actual photographer (yay).


  3. I love the series of photos. You two were always meant to be together.


  4. …and the pictures just get more beautiful the longer you are together 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I write an answer to this yesterday and AGAIN, the comment disappeared. It’s really frustrating.

      I don’t know about beautiful, but we do still find each other attractive. I still am surprised by that. It turns out that “pretty” isn’t necessarily what makes people attractive. I remember how many women I knew who were anything but beautiful or pretty, yet were terribly attractive to potential mates. There was something about them that made them beautiful. I think that comes from inside.



  1. SYW SUMMATION February 14th <3 | sparksfromacombustiblemind

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Tish Farrell

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