DANGEROUS HUMAN BEANS

Last night we made a package of green beans. They weren’t the “nuke’em in the package” beans we usually get. You were supposed to empty the package into a frying pan and 8 minutes later (according to the package), they would be ready to eat.

That was when the package warned us that “the food will be hot.” Well, yeah. We cooked it. That’s how cooking works. It heats up food. Not content with that warning (which I though was pretty funny), in big red letters, they had a second warning:

FOOD WILL BE HOT WHEN PREPARED AS DIRECTED.

I suddenly foresaw a time when stovetops and ovens would not be allowed to get above a specified temperature, or for that matter, would not let you cook anything long enough to make it hot. Never mind that you’d probably wind up with some kind of food poisoning because you weren’t able to cook your food long enough. Or maybe they will “irradiate” the food to remove any possible bacteria from it? Is that even possible? And wouldn’t that also remove all its food value?

When they have to warn you that cooked food will be hot, you know the corporate over-protection thing — “We must prepare for getting sued for anything and everything,” screamed the lawyer — has gone way too far.

Meanwhile, if we are going to be busy protecting people from excessively hot green beans, maybe we could protect the earth from excessively destructive human beans?



Categories: Anecdote, Cooking, fire, Food, Humor

Tags: , , , , ,

15 replies

  1. It’s a hilarious thing to warn people against the recently cooked food being hot.

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  2. Ah how I wish we all would just calm down! Imagine if the earth and Nature could sue us for all that we do to her, we’d all be in jail!

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  3. that seemed like a stupid lawsuit and is probably the reason we have so many problems these days with cold takeout food. I prefer to use common sense and not put something hot between my legs while driving. I certainly would be too embarrassed to admit in court that I did something like that. I have a habit of spilling ice cream so is the next dumb warning going to be “CAUTION: contents are cold”?
    As for those beans, I was home canning my green beans and tried the frozen ones one time, following the cooking instructions on the package so I could have enough to feed some last minute “guests”. The beans were still raw after the appointed time of cooking. I realize a lot of people like them crunchy but if I had wanted them that way I would have eaten them raw. Oh well, I had better make myself a sign now because I’m about to finish off my ice cream. Root beer float sounds good to me right now.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I didn’t like them either. They WERE crunchy and they didn’t taste particularly good. But, on the up side, our dog LOVED them. Good Duke. Good boy!

      it was a stupid lawsuit and it has become the precedent for who knows how many more stupid lawsuits. It just goes to show you — stupid builds on stupid.

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  4. Some of the signage about food and packaging these days is ludicrous. Do they really think people are that dumb? Well maybe they are. Or that litigious. I hope I spelled that right.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Considering one thing and another? Yeah, there are a serious number of idiots and I think we have the biggest and best of the stupid right here at home in the good old U.S.A. Hillary Clinton called them “deplorables” and she got nailed for saying it, but she was absolutely right. They ARE deplorable AND stupid. Dangerous combination because they also own guns.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Well, the McDonald’s suit had merit because they deliberately gave people scalding coffee. But like everything else, now we have to go crazy the other way…

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    • Yes, I remember the lawsuit well. Now the coffee is tepid. Is there someplace in between where we could all meet and drink moderately hot coffee that won’t burn out your tonsils Or be pre chilled? There has to be a happy medium in this world.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Remember that McDonalds was sued because somebody spilled hot coffee on her lap!

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    • I thought it was a stupid lawsuit and a stupid ruling. Yes the coffee didn’t have to be THAT hot but when you order take-out coffee, if it isn’t really hot to begin with, it’ll be too cold to drink in just a few minutes. Not like they give you a thermal cup or something.

      Just you wait. They’re going to try to invent “safe” stovetops. it will be illegal to BOIL WATER because a child (not yours — maybe a neighbor’s kid?) might wander by. It’s like the childproof containers that ONLY children can open. Safe from arthritic adults!

      Liked by 2 people

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