What is Salvation But the Salvage of Your Soul?

Someone asked a pastor with whom I am acquainted (online) if he had any proof that praying on the Internet accomplished anything. He said “No. The prayer is really for you!”

Still and all, the last time we went to church — a pretty long time ago, I admit — this is pretty much how it went.



PASTOR: “Praise the Lord!”

CONGREGATION: “Hallelujah!”

PASTOR: “Will everyone please turn on their tablet, PC, iPad, smartphone, and Kindle Bibles to 1 Corinthians, 13:13. Also, please switch on your Bluetooth to download the sermon.”

(P-a-u-s-e … )

PASTOR: “Now, Let us pray to commit this week into God’s hands. Open your Apps, Twitter and Facebook, and chat with God”

(S-i-l-e-n-c-e … )

PASTOR: “As we take our Sunday tithes and offerings, please have your credit and debit cards ready. You can log on to the church wi-fi using the password Lord-131. The ushers will circulate mobile card swipe machines among the worshipers. Those who prefer to make electronic fund transfers are directed to computers and laptops at the rear of the church. If you want to use your iPad, please open them. Those of you who use telephone banking, you can take out your cell phones to transfer contributions to the church account.”

(The holy atmosphere of the Church becomes electrified as smartphones, iPads, PCs, and laptops beep and flicker.)


DEACON: Thank you all for being here today. Remember this week’s ministry meetings will be held on the various Facebook group pages where the usual group chatting takes place. Please log in and don’t miss out! Thursday’s Bible study will be held live on Skype at 19:00 GMT. Let’s see your face too! You can follow Pastor on Twitter this week #PastorCounsel for counseling and prayer.

God bless and have a great day.

I don’t know why, but we felt so out-of-place. We didn’t know whether to gasp, laugh, or cry … or maybe, all three.

WorseI forgot my smartphone!

Categories: Daily Prompt, faith, god and gods, humor

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

25 replies

  1. I can see the sense in some of this but the actual experience sounds very unnerving. I am not sure if they do it that way here as yet. We seem to have a lot of little independent churches springing up around the Huon Valley. They hold services in a hall or meeting room and I suspect most are fundamentalist groups. I can’t imagine the elderly people who attend the more traditional churches following the service on a device but it may happen in the city. Not being a church goer myself I couldn’t tell you.


    • We hadn’t been to church in quite a while. It was a shock. I was astonished, actually. And there were people taking pictures in church, too. Clothing — you know, getting dressed for church? — had long since vanished. Young people show up in cut-off shorts and tank tops and you know someone is old because they AREN’T wearing casual clothing.

      It was pretty weird for us.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I was astonished when I read your post. I could hardly believe it could happen even though I know that churches use a lot more technology now. People don’t really dress up to go out now, I shouldn’t talk I don’t either but I do put better clothes on to go to Hobart or out for a meal or a show than I would wear to run into Geeveston or potter around at home.


  2. Let’s all log on and pray. And don’t forget to tip you pastor.


  3. I have to admit that I’m laughing at this — it reminds me of people I see in restaurants sitting across from each other but each texting, as if to each other! Why bother going to church at all if you are going to do it all on-line?


  4. Wow . . glad I don’t go to that church . . I need live worship


    • Good luck finding one. They are ALL changing, even the most reluctant. No one carries cash or a checkbook anymore, so they either were going to take plastic or get nothing … and once you let in the smartphones, it was all downhill from there. And for a lot of churches with elderly and/or far-flung congregants, this was a way to get a lot of people attending. There’s always good and bad in everything. I found it disconcerting, but I’m old.


  5. I’m sure glad it’s a different story in my church 🙂


  6. Doesn’t look like I am missing anything. I can do it all at home, hope they don’t have any virus in the programmes. That devil manages to get everywhere these days.


  7. I am amazed at how technology is taking over in the church as well. But, it seems to be the wave of the future. My daughter likes that her church’s Bible study is on Facebook, as she does not have to drive at night to attend. It’s different, and I have to remember that it is new generation, but face-to-face with hugs still is what I prefer.


    • I don’t know anymore. I think we are losing some of our humanness be being perpetually hooked to a device. But for many of us — especially older people like us — it’s also a lifeline so that we can still be a part of the world and not shoved away in a dusty corner. Like most progress, there’s the good and the bad of it. It can be difficult to know where the line should be drawn. I do know that I’m more comfortable with friends WITHOUT the gadgets, but at other times and places, I’m very glad to have them.

      Liked by 2 people

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