MASSED SQUIRRELS ATTACK RURAL HOME SLAUGHTERING RETIREE – Marilyn Armstrong

Gazing out of her bedroom window, she nothing that each feeder had two or three squirrels clinging to it and there were more of them on the deck and on the railing.

“This,” she said to herself, “Is ridiculous. How many of them ARE there?” She opened the window and yelled out the window, but the squirrels ignored her. They didn’t even twitch a tail.

So, barefoot and lacking eyeglasses, she trundled to the kitchen, opened the back door and yelled at the squirrels. There was a wild reaction as squirrels appeared from behind the rails, under the rails, under the deck, on and atop the feeders … and it turns out there were half a dozen chipmunks there, too.

One big one, the biggest, fattest, most hostile of the squirrel gang stood his ground. She finally opened the door and tried pushing him off the railing. That was when the cadre of apparently karate-trained squirrels came at her from every direction.

Only white bones were left on the deck, left for the sun to whiten and the heat of next summer to bleach. Alas, there will be no one to contract with the gutter installers on Friday.

The manager has been consumed by squirrels.



Categories: Uncategorized

33 replies

  1. great story – and so true. Our squirrels in England too had no time for me hollering to them…. they knew that they were quicker than I was and that by the time I was near the feeders, they had moved on to the trees and laughed me off my own garden! I find it difficult to get bird food, I’m w/o a car all week and I need to go to a large shopping center – plus, the strong winds we had have completely wrecked both free standing feeding posts. All I’ve got left now is some 5-6 feeders to hang in the trees and hooks where I hang up the fat balls…. No squirrels here – but plenty of neighbours’ cats going after the birds.

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  2. We have 2 black squirrels that stare at us and run away. I’m more concerned with the racoons of which there seem to be plenty and dozens (now) rabbits. It’s turned very cold and we could get snow if this keeps up and that’s unusual for us this early in the year. We also had a dear visit with a broken leg. Unfortunately, conservation shot him. Not that i imagine they could do much else. Poor thing!

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  3. Be nice to the squirrels, or else…………………… bwahaha!!!

    Like

  4. Hahaha — happy Halloween!

    Like

  5. So it’s true. SomeTHING IS watching us….. 😐 Wow! Great story btw! πŸ˜‰

    Like

  6. It’s the attack of the Ninja Squirrels…..
    I wonder if that means it’s going to be a hard winter?
    Leslie

    Like

  7. Nobody ever thought they’d plan an invasion. Nobody was prepared to defend the position. And now they have won with superior numbers πŸ™‚ Nice photos!

    Ours are usually red or brown with a white chest. I don’t often see grey squirrels here but I’ve heard they’re move common over there.

    Like

  8. I have their relatives in my back yard. They eat my peaches and hang from my bird feeders and leave the peels from the oranges they have hijacked from my neighbor’s tree.So far, they haven’t looked my way with hungry eyes.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. A gory and scary take.

    Like

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