To confront or not to confront is ALWAYS an issue in a relationship. Nor is it a question I could answer with a simple “yes” or “no.” Or even a single answer that could be applied to most people. Because (sigh) however inconvenient, everyone is different from everyone else.
There are people who prefer direct communication. I know I do. For all of you who prefer direct communication, thank you for letting communications be part of your daily life. It makes everyone’s world an easier place to live.
For those who hate confrontation, the ones who will shut down if you try a direct approach. These non-direct communicators are inevitably family members. Since I’ve always been the “family communicator” (a really common role for a middle child), I’ve spent my life trying to figure out how to tell someone what they should know. Some people don’t want to know. This is no problem with a friend with whom you don’t live and will never live, but gets a little bit trickier with people with whom you do live. Since many of us are living hip-to-hip with one or two other people, this kind of familial negotiation is how everyone stays sane. Sooner or later, the issues of daily life need to be worked out.
Try to not begin negotiations in the middle of a sporting event or favorite TV show. Avoid letting stupid stuff become a months-long soap opera. I think as we get older, we are better at avoiding melodramas. Call me crazy, but I genuinely believe adults can get along if they want to. Another brilliant thing I’ve learned is that everyone is easy to get along with if they can do whatever they want whenever they feel like it without taking anyone else’s feelings into consideration. This is fine for friends with whom you don’t live. It’s only when you see each other all the time, you might want to be a teensy bit more civil and compromising.
And this is why people live alone. It might get lonesome, but there’s nothing to argue about and no one to argue with.