Almost raining is the only kind of rain we seem to get these days. It wet enough to ruin your sandals but not enough to convince the flowers they have been watered or keep the birds’ suet from melting.

Shaking the rain off his fur

I might as well start with the fun stuff. I went to the doctor today and found out nothing much. It’s not that the the doctor is uninformative. He’s fine. The problem is the tests don’t show much. It turned out, as I hoped, you can’t have me fast for 12-hours and get “normal” results. After doing another set of tests without fasting, results were pretty much the same as last time and the time before. One test result is a little bit high. Another is a little bit low. Nothing is critical. There’s no diagnosis because none of the results are jumping up and down while yelling “Look at me! Look at ME!”

In the end, we’re left with trying to find a pain medication that works without ugly side effects, a goal that has proved nearly impossible to achieve while trying to (also) eliminate at least one of my many medicines.

On the positive side, I didn’t get any bad news. This getting old thing is getting OLD. Of course it still beats out the alternative, but I’m exhausted just fighting the daily battle to keep going.

As the very old witch said, “We all get the same amount of young, but if you live a long time you just get an extra big dollop of OLD.”

Onward to this week’s questions!


In one sentence, how would you sum up the internet?

Meh. Social media ranges from occasionally brilliantly, to largely stupid. There are sweet spots, but an awful lot of it is dull, dreary, and sometimes repulsive.

Is true beauty subjective or objective? 

When I was marrying Garry, one lady who always acted like a friend (but never was), asked me this question: “Why do they MARRY you?” I said it was because I worked hard to make them feel loved and cared for. I take care of those I care about.

Returning to the original question — I assume you are referring to “human” beauty? Because human beauty is subjective. One of the interesting things I’ve noticed through the years is that the women who were most attractive to men were not necessarily the prettiest, sexiest, or best-dressed. They were, however, usually the warmest and kindest. They made their partners feel like a million bucks.

How many chickens would it take to kill an elephant?  (This is the perfect alternative to “Why did the chicken cross the road?”)

First of all, they would all have to cross the road because you’d need a whole henhouse full of beaky chickens.

A digression: When I was working, many (sometimes most) of my co-workers were originally from other countries. Russia, Israel, Pakistan, India, China so the office diversity was very high. I was working on a database product and we needed to show how to move groups or single objects from one place to another and I suggested we do it as ” chickens” and have them cross the road. All the Americans laughed.

The rest of the group looked baffled. “Why,” asked Sergei, “Is that funny?” And you know, we couldn’t explain it. It’s funny, but there’s no reason why it’s funny. Maybe what’s funny is that we find it funny.

So how many chickens? As many as you get across the road and maybe they won’t kill an elephant. Maybe they will just make friends. They will become tiny elephant pals.

If your five-year-old self suddenly found herself inhabiting your current body, what would your five-year-old self do first?

Run around, jump, and just move and remember how it feels for all the parts to work at the same time! 

What’s an aspect of your personality that you’re grateful for?

Being smarter than the average bear. Not so smart as to scare people away, but smart enough to know the world is not flat, liberals and socialists are not crazed communists and aren’t running child pornography rings in the basements of pizza shops, that putting limits on guns does NOT increase (or fail to diminish) crime — and voting makes a difference because your non-vote is a vote for the guy you weren’t going to vote for.

These days, this is plenty smart.

Categories: #Health, #SYW, Anecdote, Humor, Share My World

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17 replies

  1. Isn’t that always the way? You spend months training your chicken army and the moment you send them in they make friends with the enemy.


  2. Loving these answers Marilyn! 😀


  3. Thanks Marilyn for Sharing Your World! That is the sweetest elephant/chicken solution so far. Can’t we all just get along? Great answer! Your 5 y.o. scenario is great too! How would it be to suddenly have no pain, boundless energy, and be able run (and walk) without assistance? Amazing. I’m sorry the doctors didn’t discover the answer, but that’s (in my recent experience anyway) just how they seem to roll now. I’m not blaming them, I’m frustrated to hear from others as well as myself, that “I don’t know” isn’t in the medical professional’s vocabulary any longer. Dangling your patient(s) on a hook doesn’t seem like a good way to practice medicine. But. I’m overly impatient too, I just want to know SOMETHING. I hope your situation is resolved satisfactorily! You can send your ‘mist’ (almost rain) out here any time. I’d even pay for shipping! 😛 It would evaporate before touching the ground, but anything to relieve the skyrocketing temperatures. It sounds mighty refreshing to me! Have a great week and amazing photo (especially that squirrel). That is a very good shot!

    Liked by 1 person

    • In medicalese anything they can’t diagnose is called “idiopathic.” That’s the medical way of saying “I have no idea.” I am a huge mass of idiopathic-ness. I suppose the big difference between us is that I have a many things never been diagnosed. I’ve lived with them for years. They can find out what they can find out, but there are many things for which there are no tests. It doesn’t mean nothing is wrong, only that they don’t know exactly what. Also, my doctor knows I don’t want a lot of tests. If I don’t want to do it, I’ll keep deferring it until years have passed. So yesterday he said ” PLEASE don’t just forget this. It’s not urgent, but we do need to do something about it eventually.” I laughed, He knows if I don’t want to, I’ll keep saying yes and never get around to it.

      Not knowing what’s wrong isn’t intentionally dangling. It’s the truth and “I don’t know” is often the best you are going to get. There are things for which I can’t be tested because of the pacemaker. Anything that requires an MRI would kill me and that means many things are too dangerous to test. Other things are dangerous because I have been rebuilt. Many parts of me are different, so I need a doctor who understands the repairs and replacements. I don’t want to go in for a test and come out dead.

      Doctors can diagnose many things, but there are things for which all they can do is take their best guess based on your symptoms. This can be accurate or wildly wrong. This is where a really great diagnostician comes into play. Remember “House?” The TV show with Hugh Laurie? His gift wasn’t curing people. He was a fantastic diagnostician, so when someone had something and no one knew what, they sent them to House. Where is House when we need him?

      Meanwhile, I’d rather hear “I don’t know” than be run dozens of tests and medications only to realize it was all “fishing.”

      Liked by 2 people

      • I hear ya. I honestly can’t afford a bunch of tests, I don’t have the money, so even if they did find a way to explain what is going on, I probably couldn’t pay for it. I have two tests next week and that’s the end of them. I don’t know how you’ve stood it, the idiopathic label being stuck on you. I’ve been dealing with a version of this for over forty years (at least the GI problems that they could never diagnose), but this time the thing cropped up, beefed up on steroids or something, because it is much worse than ever before. Ah well. We live and we learn. Thanks for the thoughts! 🙂


        • Well, they may not have a diagnoses, but:

          Eat bananas, toast, rice, and other bland starchy things for a few days. That usually calms things down. Do you feel like you have an acid reflux problem? Can you feel the burning in the back of your throat? You can get prescription anti-acids for that which work better than over-the-counter ones — but the over the counter ones (not tums — the ones you have to take as pills) work pretty well for some people. THIS is one of the problems they can’t diagnose with tests because it’s all based on your symptoms. It can make you very sick and yet no test will show anything.


  4. I wonder if the chicken joke is an English speaker’s joke rather than just American because I heard it as a kid. I think of it as a kid’s joke really. It’s not really funny unless you like an anticlimax but if a child tells you that joke most adults would laugh I think because that is the response the child wants.
    I don’t know why it doesn’t work for other races/cultures though.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It isn’t funny if you think about it. It’s just something WE find funny. In an office of Americans and people from other places, ONLY Americans thought it was funny and when put to the test, no one could explain why. It just IS funny. To us. I guess is works for all English speakers and not just Americans. That’s comforting. At least we aren’t the only people who laugh at jokes no one else finds funny!

      Liked by 3 people

  5. Great answers Marilyn. I am with you on the beauty question!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I always found it kind of funny that the really popular women were rarely the prettiest. They were almost alway the nicest and/or the most interesting. Pretty is great, but when looking for a long term relationship, everyone is looking for character rather than beauty. I find that comforting.

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Hi Marilyn, your post gave me a good laugh and that is a great way to start the day. Keep those chickens crossing the road.

    Liked by 1 person

    • We built the joke into the manual. It explained how the product worked (or that little piece of it, anyway) and if you didn’t find it funny, it still provided a clear explanation. For English speakers, it was a light touch in something that almost never has any humor in it. It’s hard to be funny when writing a software manual. The opportunities for humor are few and far between. That may be the ONLY humor I ever managed to squeeze into a book.

      Liked by 2 people

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