Have you ever met a woman who keeps a library in the bathroom and sits on the toilet and reads for 20-40 minutes every day? I haven’t. But my grandfather did it, my husband does it and so do the husbands of most of the women I know well enough to ask about it.

I have never understood this practice. or why is it almost exclusively men who do it. If a woman was going to read for any length of time, the last place she’d choose to spend this precious “alone time” would be on the friggin’ toilet! No woman wants a red ring around her butt when she finishes a chapter.

I think I get why, in general, men think farts are funny and women don’t. It’s because men never outgrow the scatological humor of an eight-year-old boy. I also have a theory as to why men, in general, love slapstick humor and women don’t. Since we don’t have gladiators or jousts as an outlet for male aggression, men need a form of socially acceptable violent entertainment where the pain or humiliation can be laughed at and enjoyed publicly. This also explains violent video, which are also played predominantly by men.

But — I have no clue about the etiology of reading on the toilet. Maybe it’s a way to make goofing off appear legitimate — it shouldn’t count as “me time” if you’re performing a necessary bodily function. Yet men have no trouble sitting on the sofa with a beer and watching ball games for hours or playing video games endlessly. So I think it’s unlikely that they feel a pressing need to justify their pursuit of leisure activities, as women often do.

Maybe women shouldn’t try to beat them, but join them instead. So, ladies, the next time your husband wants you to start dinner, do the laundry, feed the dogs or pick up the kids, just grab a book, run into the bathroom and shut the door. Your husband can’t question or interrupt your toilet time without threatening the sanctity of his.

Try bringing a pillow and a glass of wine in with you to make the surroundings more user-friendly and relaxing. Let’s see if two can play this potty game!

This is the sculpture and the books in my powder room

Categories: Humor, reading

Tags: Ellin Curley, Household Stuff, humor, men and women, reading, toilet reading