DORIEN SHOULD REALLY BE DARWIN – By TOM CURLEY

A quote from the weather bureau. A real quote. I am not making this up:


IDIOTS SHOULD BE WARNED NOT TO GO OUT INTO THE STORM.

I’m not sure why we name hurricanes. I have no idea how the names get picked. I could Google it and maybe find out, but I’m too lazy to bother right now.

Regardless, I think all hurricanes should be named Darwin. Why?

Because nothing weeds out the gene pool and brings out the stupid in people like a hurricane. The bigger they are, the dumber they get. As I’m writing this, Hurricane Dorian, or what I call it, Hurricane Darwin the 2nd (Irma was the 1st), having wreaked havoc on the Bahamas is approaching southern Florida.

The Weather Channel

The worst is yet to come.  I’m watching the coverage, which is the exactly the same on all the networks. An anchor, who makes millions of dollars a year, is sitting in a warm cozy network studio. (Except for Lester Holt who was out there in the wind and rain just like a real reporter.)

He’s talking to the poor schmuck who drew the short straw and is standing in the middle of the hurricane telling everybody how dangerous the hurricane is and how nobody should be out in it. Except of course for him and his crew.

Now, granted, I know that they aren’t in as much danger as it seems. I worked for CBS News for 40 years and I know they set up in safe spots outside the wind. They only need one shot where the wind is howling and it looks like they are hanging on for dear life. When the live shot is over they all go back inside, smoke cigarettes, have lunch, play Candy Crush on their phones and wait for the next live hit.

I know Garry is nodding and laughing right now. (Note from home: Garry is laughing because he isn’t the schmuck out there in the storm.)

The really stupidest are the people who think they can ride these things out. I watched a news report a few days ago where they interviewed two people who planned on riding out Dorian from a trailer park.

Excuse me? Did you just say A TRAILER PARK??? One guy said he already lost his mobile home two weeks ago in a run off the mill flood. They happen there all the time.  

His plan was to stay with a friend in another mobile home. They expected it to be destroyed too. What was their Plan B? To hang out in a temporary construction trailer! Mobile home lite!

I’m looking at the screen screaming “Are you nuts? Don’t you know hurricanes and tornadoes hate mobile homes?! A tornado will go around an entire town to get at just ONE TRAILER PARK!!”

To a hurricane, mobile homes are tasty little snacks! I know it’s much more complicated than this.  Some people can’t get out for valid reasons — lack of anywhere to go or no vehicle or destitution.

But, for the guy who goes surfing as the hurricane hits, and dies then dies, well …

And, the guy who is kite surfing as the hurricane hits  …

Oh Boy! I’m heading right toward the tornado! Cool!

And, the family on the beach with their kids taking videos of the guy kite surfing …

And, the poor schmuck interviewing them … who I should note has no choice because his idiot news director told him to do it or else …

I hope you all survive Hurricane Darwin the 2nd.

That wasn’t so bad.

I wish Mother Nature could come up with a less catastrophic method of weeding out the gene pool.

Seriously, folks — stay safe!



Categories: #News, Humor, Media, Nature, Tom Curley, Weather

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13 replies

  1. AMEN…. that woman in the outdoor bath tub though! And others ….. can’t believe my eyes! What idiots.

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  2. I’m a weatherbug and would definitely want to ride out a storm–but it depends where you’re at. I went through Hurricane Harvey and we didn’t evac because where I’m at, there’s no real point. If in danger of storm surge, though, hell yes get out of there. Tornadoes can go anywhere, so not much predicting those. Also, even with all that insane downpour from Harvey, once it stopped raining in short fits, the water level started dropping fast. My house is about a mile at most from a major river, but at a spot where the river basin is actually five miles or so wide. It would’ve taken many many more inches to get to the top of that and more feet above that to flood us out.

    But yeah, mobile homes and that direct wind? Nope, not a good idea. And when you add storm surge to that? They’re freaking nuts. One thing if they can’t go anywhere (broke, no resources, etc). If they CAN leave and choose not to? Yeah, not gonna make sense.

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  3. People really do the craziest things. Darwin is a good name. 🙂

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  4. People are like this everywhere. There are always some people who could go but won’t or stupid thrillseekers who want their five minutes of fame on social media. Or those whose attachment to their home is so strong they won’t leave it. You get that a lot with bushfires. People who choose to stay and defend their homes. I understand this but certain types of fires are indefensible and the best thing you can do is get out so the fire crews can save what they can without having to stop and rescue people. We did not have mandatory evacuation last summer when the bushfires were threatening local towns but there were daily briefings and the firies urged people to go. Those that staye had pumps and hoses of their own.
    On the subject of hurricanes called Darwin, I don’t think the people of the city of Darwin would be impressed with that idea. Darwin was destroyed by a cyclone (Cyclone Tracy) on Christmas Day 1974. It’s pretty much the same thing. In fact I looked it up and the summary said all hurricanes are cyclones but not all cyclones are hurricanes.

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    • Blizzard are also hurricanes, but with snow. The great blizzard that nearly destroyed New York city on March 11, 1888 (my birthday, which is how I remember it) closed off New York and much of the eastern part of the midwest to this gigantic storm. Something like 7 feet of snow fell in just 12 hours.

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  5. Unbelievable what some people will do.
    Leslie

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  6. I sometimes look at the people being interviewed who have children/pets and they’re going to stay put… if they have absolutely no choice, I understand…but there ARE shelters! And then, it’s up to other people to take care of them and risk their lives to save them. It’s not only stupid but really selfish as well!

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    • There’s also a serious poverty issue. Old people, poor people … they have nowhere to go. Often, no vehicle to take them there. They are putting in warnings and if you break them, it’s jail till the storm is over. For a lot of the really poor, this is probably the best solution they’ve been offered. At least they’ll get fed and stay dry.

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      • Those people are dependable “sound bites” for the news media. They’re always in the same spot, mopping up after the latest storm and offer the same determination to “stay and face Mother Nature.”. Same sound bites every time. They just get older, as do the remnants of their home. Stand fast, Pilgrims, here come the media trucks to get your precious sound bites.

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  7. Exactly! Safety first!!!!!!!!!!

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  8. Some do it for the thrill.

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  9. One of my favorite posts ever)

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